Dana Milbank notches a threefer of phony apologies -- from NJ Guv KrispyKreme, ex-VA Guv "Handsome Bob" McD, and -- wait for it -- Glenn Beck!

Say it ain't so, Glenn B! Did you really "ma[k]e an awful lot of mistakes" that "help[ed] tear the country apart"?

"Chris Christie is terribly sorry that his staff lied to him about things they did without his knowledge, and he feels remorse that the partisan media are targeting him with a witch hunt.

"Bob McDonnell is really sorry that an overzealous federal prosecutor is going after him for doing perfectly legal things.

"And Glenn Beck feels just awful that people were so 'fragile' that they allowed his rhetoric to tear the country apart. . . .

"Christie's problem is the fault of MSNBC; McDonnell's problem is the fault of the U.S. attorney; and the damage Beck caused is the fault of the people who listened to him -- and besides, he says, he didn't have a choice."

-- Dana Milbank, in his Washington Post column
posted today, "Apologize, then blame someone else"

by Ken

It still drives me nuts that the minions of the Right-Wing Noise Machine continue to praise NJ Governor KrispyKreme for "taking responsibility" for Bridgegate, usually with pointed contrast to a certain president of the United States and an incident in North Africa. Let me say again that we can begin a discussion of what happened in North African as soon as Republicans take responsibility for their role in underfunding U.S. embassy security and for taking no interest in previous incidences of U.S. embassy violence. The discussion is apt to be short, since at that point they will all presumbaly have blown their own tiny brains out in remorse.

Of course the governor "accepted responsibility" only in the narrowest, most technical sense: that all those people implicated by the e-mails in the scheme to close the George Washington Bridge to traffic coming from the Fort Lee

It also drives me nuts that the infotainment noozers continue to intone that the issue in NJ is whether Governor KrispyKreme can survive the Bridgegate kerfuffle, without pointing out that Bridgegate only exploded because (a) in this particular case a few dogged reporters knew where to look for the incriminating e-mails that, incredibly, they were able to shake loose, and (b) his close political and personal cronies were stupid enough to leave that e-mail trail -- perhaps thinking that just because they were "smart" enough to use personal rather than government e-mail accounts, they were safe from discovery. (I'm assuming, by the way, that this is legal in New Jersey, as many things seem to be. Unlike with federal officials, who legally aren't allowed to conduct government business by e-mail other than the government variety. You'll recall that this is the law that Bush regime officials violated at will, apparently in accordance with the legal doctrine of Who's Gonna Stop Us, Huh? Huh?)

I assume that this is the "abject stupidity" with which Governor KrispyKreme dismissed the Bridgegate goof-up. (Well, that and perhaps that the scheme didn't include any mechanism for making sure that the Dems and Dem-symps being punished knew they were being punished.) He might have made the point clearer if he had offered us the corresponding paper and e-trail of, say, five or ten KrispyKreme administration vendettas of which he's especially proud -- the ones that were executed the smart way.

To get back to this epidemic of phony-baloney apologies covered by Dana Milbank in his new Washington Post column, he begins the column: "I am sorry." [New paragraph] "I am sorry that so many people have been making insincere apologies. I hasten to add that I am not to blame for these terrible apologies, but I regret them deeply, all the same."

This epidemic of lying and finger-pointing, says Dana, "brings to mind George W. Bush's long-ago vow to change a culture that says "if it feels good, do it; if you've got a problem, blame somebody else.' " (Dana hastens to add, "That didn't happen, I regret to say.")


(1) NJ GUV KRIS KRISPYKREME (aka "NJ FATS")

In the matter of the governor's sorriness, I think it's worth recalling, as washingtonpost.com's "lighter side of politics" blogger Alexandra Petri pointed out after his marathon press conference, what he really professed to be was sad. Oh, the business of taking responsibility did come up once, briefly, but that was in the context of his 16,000 references to how sad he was. Sad isn't at all the same thing as sorry and isn't even in the same discussion syllabus as responsible. On the contrary, there seems surely a powerful suggestion that someone as sad as the governor told us he was had been wronged by somebody else, somebody who should be sorry and owed him not just an apology but a taking-responsibility-for.

"Christie at least began," says Dana, "with a nominal acceptance of responsibility." (Note: links onsite.)

Even as he pleaded innocence in the bridge scandal -- "I'm telling you: I had nothing to do with this" -- he acknowledged that, at least in the technical sense of being New Jersey's chief executive, "I'm ultimately responsible." But this changed on Jan. 18, when his office issued a statement saying the mushrooming scandal was the fault of the liberal media.

"MSNBC is a partisan network that has been openly hostile to Governor Christie and almost gleeful in their efforts attacking him," the statement said. It also said the burgeoning accusations of intimidation by Christie's administration mean "partisan politics are at play here."

(2) VA GUV "HANDSOME BOB" McDONNELL and MRS. "HB"

"Ultimately," Dana notes, "the scale of the Christie administration's wrongdoing will be sorted out by a federal prosecutor. But, as [Virginia ex-Gov. Bob] McDonnell made clear on Tuesday, a federal prosecutor is just another person who can be blamed for one's own transgressions."

The former Virginia governor, indicted along with his wife in a corruption scandal involving gifts from businessman Jonnie R. Williams, issued a statement saying he would "prevail against this unjust overreach of the federal government." Said McDonnell: "I deeply regret accepting legal gifts and loans from Mr. Williams, all of which have been repaid with interest." He then went on television to say "I did nothing illegal for Mr. Williams in exchange for what I believe was his personal friendship and his generosity."

Uh-huh. The "generosity" included a shopping spree for the first lady at Oscar de la Renta ($10,999), Louis Vuitton ($5,685), and Bergdorf Goodman ($2,604), a $50,000 loan without documentation, $15,000 for his daughter's wedding, the use of a vacation home and Ferrari, the Rolex inscribed "71st Governor of Virginia," the hot-tub cover, the deck staining, a Cape Cod vacation, yacht charter and golf outings. By total coincidence, the benefactor allegedly got help with state scientific researchers and support at various company events -- including a product launch at the governor's mansion.

But McDonnell, who gallantly rejected a plea deal that would have spared his wife, blames the feds.

I should note some welcome pushback against Handsome Bob's self-declaration of purity and his determination not to plead out when he and the lovely Mrs. Handsome Bob have done nothing illegal. In Handsome Bob's handsome head, the federal prosecutors' tortured legal reasoning would make normal political interchange illegal. The Washington Post's Ruth Marcus, for one, isn't buying it. "It’s worth rereading the indictment of McDonnell and his rapacious wife, Maureen," says Ruth (in her column "In Virginia, not politics as usual"), and "wallowing in the sordidness of a scheme that, as portrayed by prosecutors, went far beyond back-scratching as usual. Even in the context of Virginia’s lax-beyond-belief gift rules, the McDonnells’ conduct crossed the line from undeniably scummy to arguably criminal."

Nor is the Post's Eugene Robinson thrilled (in his column "It takes two to tango") with what he calls "the Dragon Lady Thesis -- the scenario that McDonnell, previously known as a man of courtliness and rectitude, was led unwittingly down the path to perdition by his flashier, more status-conscious spouse," despite the former Virginia First Lady's seeming credentials for the role.

It was Bob McDonnell, according to the indictment, who had a follow-up discussion with [businessman Jonnie] Williams to finalize arrangements for that $50,000 loan -- no paperwork, just a promise to repay with interest. It was Bob McDonnell who allegedly asked Williams for subsequent loans of $50,000 and $20,000. It was Bob McDonnell who allegedly took his sons golfing at Williams's private club -- and charged Williams's account for merchandise in the pro shop worth hundreds of dollars.

You’re broke, your spouse comes home with armloads of designer dresses and shoes, and you don’t freak out? You’re governor of Virginia, your wife asks a businessman for $50,000 and you don’t go ballistic?

Nobody’s as stupid as Bob McDonnell pretends to be.

(3) "THIS BRINGS US TO BECK," SAYS DANA

Lord knows we've had plenty of opportunity to chat about the phony-baloniness of Governors KrispyKreme and McDonnell. However, the mea culpa of dirtbag extraordinaire Glenn Beck is brand-new, and it's an eye-popper. In fact, my whole head is reeling.

"On Tuesday night," notes Dana, our Glenn "went on his former network and told Megyn Kelly that, before Fox News dropped him in 2011, 'I made an awful lot of mistakes. . . . I think I played a role, unfortunately, in helping tear the country apart.' " (This last link is to a post on the website "GLENN BECK: The Fusion of Enlightenement and Entertainment" poignantly titled "Glenn poignantly reflects on his time at Fox News with Megyn Kelly." Hold on to your hankies, ladies and germs.) So our Glenn thinks he may have "played a role, unfortunately, in helping tear the country apart"! Says Dana:

Ya think? The nightly Nazi metaphors, the routine race-baiting and sponsorship of conspiracy theories and apocalyptic visions that, it appears, drove some to desperate violence? But hold on: Beck said the real trouble was that he "didn't realize how really fragile the people were. I thought we were kind of a little more in it together." In a follow-up interview on his online network, the Blaze, he further absolved himself, asserting that "there's no way that I could have done it any different than I did."

Beck is nothing if not adaptable. He was a ponytail-wearing liberal before he saw a commercial opening in conservative talk radio. Now that an improving economy has cast doubt on his end-times visions, he's recasting himself again. This week, he unveiled a new mission statement for the Blaze: "We tell stories of love and courage where the good guys win." He devoted a radio show this week to "three classic Frank Sinatra songs you need to hear."

And now we're supposed to believe he's genuine?

I'm sorry.

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