The Idiocracy Files (Redux), Part 4: Special Arkansas Edition

[We continue our encore presentation of Noah's Idiocracy series. And don't forget Noah's new "Need a last-minute Christmas gift suggestion?," "50 Years Ago Today: The Beatles," and "A Tale of Two Popes -- the one in the Vatican and the one in North Carolina."]

"A child who disrespects his parents must be permanently removed from society in a way that gives an example to all other children of the importance of respect for parents. The death penalty for rebellious children is not something to be taken lightly."

-- former Arkansas State Rep. Charlie Fuqua (see below)

[As Noah explained at the outset of this series, he's a big fan of Mike Judge's 2006 film Idiocracy, which purports to project our society 500 years into the future. As he has also explained in Part 2 and Part 3, 2012 has looked awfully like it. -- Ed.]

by Noah

After witnessing the Great Republican Primary Freakshow of 2012, I was left with many thoughts. Chief among them was that the parade of raving lunatics and psychopaths behind the podiums were the best that the Republican Party had to offer. Santorum, Bachman, Cain, Romney, Gingrich, Perry, and the rest were what those who truly run the Republican Party thought were their very best foot forward, the safest and most palatable, their best and brightest, the most ready for prime time candidates on their extensive roster.

But what of those waiting in the wings, the up-and-coming Republicans? Who does the Republican Party have in its minor leagues? Who is on the state-level rosters, being groomed for future national exposure? The movie Idiocracy purports to take place in the future, but the future is there for all of us to see right now. We need only open our eyes. To show you what I mean, I have simply selected one state at random. It could have been any of the 50. There are Republicans in plain view in every state, but I have chosen Arkansas.

How does one explain the fact that the same state that produced an intelligent if flawed politician like Bill Clinton also produced some real knuckle-draggers? Let's look at a few other politicians from Arkansas, Republicans that hope, and pray that they hit the national scene before too long. In their hearts, they have plans -- plans to make us a better country, something like a cross between Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan.

FIRST CASE IN POINT . . .

We begin with Arkansas State Rep. Jon Hubbard, author of the (self-published) tome Letters to the Editor: Confessions of a Frustrated Conservative. Let's hear what he has to say:

The institution of slavery that the black race has long believed to be an abomination may actually be a blessing in disguise. The blacks who could endure those conditions and circumstances would someday be rewarded with citizenship in the greatest nation ever established upon the face of the Earth.

No doubt this assclown is viewed by the higher-ups at Repug Central as having future senatorial, if not presidential, potential. This quote reveals a ton about the Republican mindset and how they would treat not just "the black race" but all of us who aren't inhabitants of their psychopathic treehouse. Note the choice of words: "believed to be," as if it's only an opinion -- believed to be an abomination. Then there's the unspoken stuff, like just what slaves had to endure -- you know, like the beatings, the dividing up of families, the rapings, the hangings, removal of limbs, torture . . . mere circumstances. Then there's the reward of citizenship. OK, but if that is a reward, then why do the Repugs want to take away the right to vote from the descendants of slaves?

HERE'S A QUOTE FROM ANOTHER SHEET-
WEARING ARKANSAS REPUBLIKOOK

Meet State Rep. Loy Mauch.

If slavery were so God-awful, why didn't Jesus or Paul condemn it? And why was it in the Constitution and why wasn't there a war before 1861?

Mauch also happens to hate Abraham Lincoln, who he calls a Nazi, and refers to the Confederate flag as a "symbol of Jesus Christ." This is way more than Idiocracy. Honestly, in what century and on what planet in what dimension do Republicans live? No wonder they all admire those Bain-owned Chinese factories -- you know, the ones where you work till you drop, and if you do drop, you get beaten; those factories with the guard towers . . .

You know how all those U.S. pols carefully pose themselves for pictures in front of a conspicuous American flag? Well, not Loy Mauch!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE (ISN'T THERE ALWAYS?)

Here's one Charlie Fuqua, author of God's Law -- The Only Political Solution. In 2012 Fuqua won the Republican nomination to return to the State House of Representatives, of which he was a member from 1996 to 1998, serving on the Children and Families Committee. (In 1998 he ran unsuccessfully for the State Senate.) He has also been an attorney for the state's Department of Human Services. He lost his 2012 election bid to incumbent Conservadem James McLean.

The maintenance of civil order in society rests on the foundation of family discipline. Therefore a child who disrespects his parents must be permanently removed from society in a way that gives an example to all other children of the importance of respect for parents. The death penalty for rebellious children is not something to be taken lightly.

Fuqua continues:

This passage does not give parents the blanket authority to kill their own children. They must follow the proper procedures.

Hmm. Just where are these "proper procedures" outlined? In the Republican Party platform? How does a party that beats its fear drums about Sharia law being imposed by liberals not see that Fuqua is obviously in favor of it? Is this what they talk about in front of donors when they think no one has a camera or cell phone? Or is it just what they have in mind? Fuqua has also called for the expulsion of all Muslims from the United States and describes both Muslims and liberals as "the antichrist" since they "both deny that Jesus is God in the flesh of man, and savior of mankind."

WHAT COMPELS A PERSON TO BECOME A REPUBLICAN ANYWAY?

Is it just a deep need to inflict punishment on others? Did some unresolved childhood hurt cause them to become Republicans? Something even darker? You get the feeling that the only thing that keeps Republicans in check and keeps them from becoming a full-blown American Taliban is that, chipped and worn away as it is, we still have a semblance of a legal system and a Constitution in our country, even if so many people feel that it doesn't apply to them.

That's it, from just one state. I've only pointed out three guys from the Republican farm team, three guys who hope one day to play on the national scene. Don't make the mistake of thinking these turkeys are loners. To get even as far as they have, they have had plenty of fellow Republican supporters and campaign contributors. Their dream of an American Taliban is alive.

THE IDIOCRACY FILES

The world of Mike Judge's 2006 film Idiocracy, projected for 500 years into the future, arrives 494 years early!

"As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent, but as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution doesn't necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most and left the intelligent to become an endangered species."

-- The Narrator, Idiocracy

Part 1: 2012: The Year That Idiocracy Moments Broke the Scale
Part 2: More Idiocracy Moments for 2012
Part 3: Republicans Seek to Create a New Country. It's Called Crackpotopia!!!
Part 4: Special Arkansas Edition
Part 5: The U.S. $enate Meets with Its Landlord

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