A new hat for the pope? (And maybe a new ring to toss it in?)
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by Ken
December 9, 2013
Pope Thinking of Losing Hat
Posted by ANDY BOROWITZ
VATICAN CITY (The Borowitz Report)—In his latest break with Catholic orthodoxy, Pope Francis said today that he was “seriously considering losing the hat,” the tall ceremonial mitre that has long been a signature of papal dress.
“I know I’m going to catch hell for saying this, but it looks kind of dumb,” he said. “Besides, you expect me to believe God really cares if I wear a big pointy hat or not? Come on.”
The Pontiff said that he would probably “try out some different looks, like a baseball cap or something” over the next few weeks, “just to see what happens.”
“If a lightning bolt comes out of the sky and cracks St. Peter’s in two, then I guess we’ll know it was a bad idea,” he chuckled.
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Many of those same sources are hypothesizing that it's no accident the pope's attention has suddenly turned to hats. According to another source, "His Holiness is keeping a close eye on the emerging field for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. I'm hearing that the key question in his thinking is a decision by former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush." Asked if he wasn't concerned about the sizzling popularity of Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, especially with Catholic voters, the pope is said to have burst out laughing and said, "That tiddlywink? He's just waiting for an offer either to do gay porn or play the lead in a slasher pic."
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Labels: Chris Christie, Pope Francis, Republican presidential race
2 Comments:
Hey Ken, I thought you had made this whole lose the hat story up, not being very hip on Pope Newz.
Hilarious, Nice hats, maybe we can rig one with of these with a fake halo just in case his isn't showin.
Hey, Bil, I leave the "making stuff up" department to smarter folks like Andy B. Then I rip it off.
Cheers,
Ken
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