Isn't it time we all got our priorities on NSA surveillance straight? Thank you, Andy Borowitz!

The New Yorker's Amy Davison claims that Davy Brooks offers "an odd perspective" on Edward Snowden. Our Davy? "An odd perspective"? Imagine!

by Ken

I know it's the job of every patriotic American at present to take sides in the matter of the NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden. Why, over at The New Yorker I hear that John Cassidy ("Why Edward Snowden Is a Hero") and Jeffrey Toobin ("Edward Snowden Is No Hero") are stalking each other in the halls with squirtguns.

Why, even David Brooks has weighed in, apparently on the theory that the country is in urgent need of the Moronic View. (Why anyone of below-average or above intelligence would even consider reading Our Davy on the subject is beyond me. For anyone who did, newyorker.com's Amy Davison did the dirty deed, with at least the professional excuse that it's kind of her job, and reports on "David Brooks and the Mind of Edward Snowden," judging that Davy's is "an odd perspective" -- just imagine! (If Davy and the NYT op-ed crew ever find themselves looking for a snappy standing title for his column, I think "An Odd Perspective" is worth considering.)

I'm not going to jump into the hero vs. not fray. I think there are important things to be said on both sides. Goodness knows, the arguments on both sides are familiar and mostly obvious, though each side might benefit from listening calmly to the other. In any case, nobody seems to think there's much likelihood of any real discussion of the deeper, darker questions of national security and the surveillance state, mostly because when people are scared -- and how hard is it to get them scared, really? -- they don't want to hear no guff about "rights."

As to the general question of NSA surveillance, it seems to me like the weather: Everybody talks about it, but nobody does anything about it. Except, of course, Andy Borowitz, who has rolled up his sleeves and come up with some practical advice.

Useful Phrases for the Surveillance State

Posted by ANDY BOROWITZ



NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In the event that the U.S. government is monitoring your conversations, here are some useful phrases to insert into your phone calls, texts, or e-mails:

I think the N.S.A. is awesome.

I just reread Nineteen Eighty-Four -- it actually has a lot of good ideas in it!

There's no such thing as a "bad" drone.

Sure am glad that I never talk to any foreigners.

I wouldn't know the first thing about making ricin.

The Fourth Amendment is overrated.

If you ask me, Guantánamo is full of nothing but complainers.

Just changed my Facebook status from "Single" to "In a Relationship with America."

I'm pretty sure my neighbor is cheating on his taxes.

Thanks, Andy! I think we can all draw inspiration and push the battle forward.

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