Is he a hero or not a hero? No, not the NSA guy! I mean the Tiffany's bandit, of course!

The flagship Tiffany & Co. store on Fifth Avenue

by Ken

There's something about this heist story which has the odd effect of making a person smile. Of course it has entirely to do with the identity of the victim: Tiffany & Co. But that doesn't entirely explain the smile-producing effect. Sure, there may be no business in the country which serves as a more perfect emblem of upper-class privilege and excess, and you know its insurance will cover the loss, but that doesn't by itself make the story amusing, or at any rate titillating, does it?

The event actually took place at Tiffany's flagship Fifth Avenue New York store around 3pm Friday, but seems only lately to have picked up steam. Here's the New York Observer's bemused take, presumably from Saturday:

FEED HIM TO THE YAKS

He’s Crazy About Tiffany’s! Thief Steals $100,000 in Necklaces From Jewelry Icon

By Elaina Plott

It should have taken him at least four seconds to walk from the counter to the door, but this bandit did it in two.

One dark, handsome, rich-looking man with passionate natures and too many teeth is wanted for pocketing $100,000 worth of necklaces from Tiffany’s Fifth Avenue store.

The thief, wearing a dark-colored suit and tie, swiped the duds around 3 p.m. yesterday, police said. Surveillance video shows him chatting up the salesclerk, asking to see two pricey chains from a display. The clerk placed them on the counter and soon turned around, leaving the bandit ample opportunity to scoop up the necklaces and walk swiftly out the door.

The footage also shows a security guard patrolling the door the suspect strolled through, but he doesn’t seem too concerned. The incident prompts questions on the state of Tiffany’s security force, but reps for the jewelry maven declined to comment.

NYPD has yet to make an arrest.

When the story was reported on the radio this morning, on my current news-radio station (well, at night they carry Yankees games), it occasioned banter from the on-air people, to the effect of: How in tarnation does a guy march out of Tiffany's with a fistful of necklaces? Must be an inside job!

How often do you hear that kind of personal involvement in a breaking news story? Okay, too often. What I mean is, here they are, just making up stuff about the story -- and it's sort of what you're thinking anyway.

I suppose that in addition to the unexpectedness of a Tiffany's snatch-and-vamoose story, there's something amusing in the "comeuppance" aspect -- serves 'em right, the polo-playing bastards!

Here's some of the report posted near midnight last night on the CBS 2 New York website:

People catching a glimpse of the world famous store Tuesday night were stunned.

"He's got some guts," said Lizzy Barter of Chelsea, "because I'm pretty sure they have him on many cameras."

"Wow … $100,000?" added Banal Naeem of the Upper West Side. "If I'm not going to be blown away by that, what else am I going to be blown away by?"

CBS 2 showed security expert Ralph Martell the video. He said the theft occurred quickly and easily because of the high-end jewelry store's elegant style.

"Unfortunately, these are crimes of opportunity," said Martell, of Cambridge Security, "especially in an environment like that where you're expected to walk into a wonderful shopping experience. How does security create an environment where they're protecting the goods?"

Police on Tuesday night were trying to track down the thief who made a smooth getaway out the revolving doors at Tiffany's.

Martell believes NYPD investigators may have their own questions for the employee behind the counter.

"I would imagine NYPD is looking at the video and right about now questioning most of the staff at the store," he said.

Martell would not speculate on the possibility of the theft being an inside job, but he said, "My suspicion is something went wrong, whether it was in the policy or there's some involvement on the part of the employee."

Naturally one has to wonder about the significance of the bandit being a well-dressed black man. It's mentioned in all the accounts, of course, and it's a detail that sticks out, but I'm not sure that's "it" either. I don't know, maybe we all need something to take our minds off . . . well, you know. And here's a story that may not be actual entertainment, but in which, at least, nobody gets hurt, except the wallet of the rich polo-playing bastards, or rather their insurance company.

With everyone voicing suspicion of the Tiffany's counterperson, you have to wonder how stupid he would have to be to have been involved, but then, this isn't an Age of Smartness we're living in. Meanwhile, it's worth remembering, though, that in the days between the event and its becoming, well, a story, no progress seems to have been made in apprehending the guy who pulled it off in full view of the store's security cameras.

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