The Republican Party: Come For The Misogyny. Stay For The Racism!

-by Noah

First, let's get one thing straight. If you are a Republican and you object to me posting this fine piece by comedian Andy Borowitz, why don't you take some time off from emailing each other pictures that feature the trifecta of nooses, watermelons, and the President Of The United States, and, while you're at it, stop your voter intimidation efforts and stop tearing up voter registration forms, and, also, why don't you stop your stark-raving mad parroting of the insanity of FOX, CNN, Glenn Beck and the rest of their ilk for just 2 minutes out of your busy hate-filled paranoid day. Then, put on your hoods and sheets, and go out and light up your fires of crosses, books, and Sponge Bob Square Pants DVDs, and chant to your mindless content about legitimate rape, forcible rape, permissible rape or whatever you call it this week. It's still a free country. You can also whine about secret Muslims under your beds and socialists lurking around every corner.

Or, if you don't like the reality of the big bad outside world that threatens every damn second to force you to grow the F up for a moment or two, you can just stay home and yell at your empty chairs for all I care. Either way, maybe just maybe, you will come to your grand moment of enlightenment whereupon, by your Republican "reasoning," you will realize that Borowitz wrote this and I posted it for the simple reason that God intended us to do it!

How far into 2013 will we get before we hear of some twisted, sicko perp offering "God intended me to do it" as a defense"? Maybe it will be Rep. Issa himself. Maybe it'll be a defeated, cracked up Mittens trying to explain his tax subterfuge once it is finally exposed, but, alas, probably not. It just isn't a just world!

With less than two weeks to go until Election Day, there is a deep divide among Republican leaders over whether to emphasize misogyny or racism as the campaign’s closing theme.

In one camp is the Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, who says that his view that God is sometimes O.K. with rape is “gaining real traction with a key demographic: men who don’t like women very much.”

“I can’t tell you how many misogynists have come up to me at my rallies and said, ‘Thank you for saying what you said',” he told reporters today. “I think they’re like, finally, someone’s taking a more nuanced position on rape.”

But in the other camp is the former New Hampshire governor John Sununu, who worries that the Republican Party’s emphasis on misogyny is threatening to drown out its “winning message of racism.”

“I understand the appeal of Mourdock’s anti-woman theme, but I worry that it’s going to overshadow our core value of racism, which is still our best shot at winning this thing,” he said. “In politics, you’ve got to dance with the one who brung you.”

Hoping to heal a possible rift with so little time left until Election Day, the R.N.C. chairman Reince Priebus said today that there is room for both views in today’s Republican Party: “Our ‘big tent’ message to voters should be this: come for the misogyny, stay for the racism.”

Thank you Andy Borowitz! Your column is a "Gift From God"!