Lou Christie Had 2 Faces; Chris Christie Has 3 Chins-- And A Hankerin' To Be Vice President

This is just a guess, but the last time I watched Meet the Press was probably in 1965, before I left home and went off to college. Ned Brooks was still the host. Two of my friends, John and Roland, claim the show is somehow "relevant," but neither has ever explained why. If you tuned in yesterday-- I caught a bit online-- you might have thought you were watching the Food Network's soon-to-be-popular new show Fat Chefs. The culinary clash of the titans was between Chris Christie (straight from his endorsement by Meatloaf) and Newt Gingrich (straight from gorging himself at L'Auberge Chez François). Watch the clip above.

Christie didn't have to be pushed too hard by whoever that host is who took over for Ned Brooks. "We all know the record," he began his premeditated spiel. "He was run out of the speakership by his own party. He was fined $300,000 for ethic violations. This is a guy who's had a very difficult political career at times and has been an embarrassment to the party." He said "embarrassment" a few times. Florida Republicans know what that's all about.

Nor was the slob from Jersey the only Republican taking potshots at the big double-digit winner of the first of the Southern primaries. Romney and his whole team were out making noise. Yes, even the self-styled aristocrat himself got down in the mud with the hogs: “At the end of four years it was proven he was a failed leader, and he had to resign in disgrace-- how many of you knew that? He actually had to resign after four years in disgrace... He has not had a record of successful leadership. What's he been doing for fifteen years? He’s been working as a lobbyist and selling influence around Washington."

And then there was Santorum. Remember him? I don't think Willard has made a deal to give him the VP nomination or some other job because Santorum wasn't just attacking the Newtster but also going after him. At a parking-lot rally yesterday in Coral Springs-- featuring "giant posters warning voters that Mormons worship false Gods"-- Santorum said, "Trust is a big issue in this election. Look at the record of someone who was governor of Massachusetts and, well, didn't necessarily govern all that conservatively."

"You look at someone who was Speaker of the House, and again ... When Newt was Speaker of the House, within three years the conservatives in the House of Representative tried to throw him out ... and in the fourth year they did. Why? Because he wasn't governing as a conservative," Santorum said, to cheers in the audience.

"What we need is a strong conviction conservative," he said. "We don't need someone who sits on the couch with Nancy Pelosi," he said, which elicited great cheers of 'No,' from the audience.

...Santorum was introduced on stage by controversial African-American Rev. O'Neal Dozier, who has warned followers about the threats posed by Mormonism, Muslims and gay people, and whose hairstyle could only be described as Afro-Pompadour.

"I believe deep down in my heart that Rick Santorum will be the GOP nominee," Dozier said, then praying for Santorum and the other candidates. Santorum visited Dozier's church, Worldwide Christian Center, in Pompano Beach, earlier Sunday.

Before the rally, an African-American band sang reggae and jazz hits, including "Let's Get It On," then moving onto songs about how much they disliked Obama.

The feeling seemed to be a strong one in the crowd; voters waved signs warning of an Obama Depression. Strong feelings of dislike seemed to be everywhere in the rally: against Obama, Romney, moderates, media, socialists, and even Russian. The only feeling that didn't seem to be a strong one was over which candidate to actually support.

"Santorum would make a good vice president," said Doris Conolly, 82, who was holding a poster that read, "Americans, Beware. Mitt Romney is a lifelong Mormon."

Conolly, who appeared to be wearing pastel pink silk pajamas, said she remembered Gingrich as Speaker of the House, and that he was "tremendous," and that Santorum was "okay."

It's Mitt Romney that she truly doesn't like.

"Christians and Jews shouldn't vote for Romney," she said.