Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Verizon GOP Xmas Party

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- by Juan

The Verizon "All I want for Christmas is my 20 MHz" Holiday bash for the GOP was held yesterday. I was lucky to have as a housemate, not only a fly on the wall but a fly who brought home some scallops wrapped in bacon, heavenly cheese puffs and some divine crab cakes which I am devouring as I blog. My housemate tells me that these assholes get the royal treatment from Verizon every year. It's always over the top especially when it's tied to something like a reward for bitchslapping AT&T. But this year Verizon also needs the GOP to allow for them to secure more bandwidth with the 4G quickness, as it were. Thus, partisan holiday lobbying cheer. Feeling the warmth? They'll probably have Newt's pickaninny housekeeping kids clean up after the soiree in exchange for some heating bill vouchers, but I digress.

Anyway, my housemate tells me that he detected an overwhelming silence as the Republicans tried sounding out an actual agenda over clinking cocktail glasses. Grasping for an elusive positive while confronted with a "Sophie's Choice" dilemma. Newt or Willard? This party was full of House members and many have all actually worked with Newt. They are shielded by and invested in but not blinded by the Republican media machine (which is far more influential than any so called lame stream media.) They know, first hand, that Newt is a time bomb. "Running against Obama" might be a rallying cry and a sufficient curtain behind which to hide for the media's sake. But while all dressed up and all liquored up, there was a decided lack of delusion where one would expect it to thrive. The process is winding down to Willard and fucking Newt! Trump has re-injected himself as Grand Dame. They just
couldn't get it up. Not with beer goggles. Or "the donald" working the poll (which he says he learned about at Wharton... who knew?)

My friend says there was almost no talk of Big Daddy Cain's going out with (or because of) a bang. Or Romney, who probably was not even invited. Bachman? nope. Perry? Who? Santorum? [crickets...] There was no cheerleading which one might expect at an all-Republican, way open bar, black tie, holiday hoedown. Could it be that the sinking is sinking in? I won't hold my breath but I did enjoy having their crab cakes and eating them too!

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6 Comments:

At 11:21 PM, Anonymous Bil said...

Thanks Howie, great report.

You are very brave to eat their food,
you KNOW where their hands have been.

 
At 4:37 AM, Anonymous me said...

a reward for bitchslapping AT&T

A worthy endeavor. See? Even scumpublicans aren't all bad.


Seriously though, events like this ought to be fucking ILLEGAL.

 
At 4:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love me a good GOP hoedown story... Remember when the GOP convention was "postponed" because key members had to "go home" to the gulf states to deal with an impending hurricane?

The convention may have been postponed, but Haley Barbour's party wasn't; A toga party featuring "Otis Day and The Knights"(ANIMAL HOUSE!!!) and populated by 40 high class hookers, vetted by The Secret Service.

Imagine Anne Coulter in a toga doing the Alligator. The tag may be "conservative" but these guys party like rockstars.

 
At 8:06 AM, Anonymous robert dagg murphy said...

"They'll probably have Newt's pickaninny housekeeping kids clean up after the soiree in exchange for some heating bill vouchers, but I digress."
Priceless, but I noticed spell check doesn't recognize pickaninny. Great post.

I'll try not to mention that "wealth is without practical limit".

 
At 8:11 AM, Anonymous bill mahr said...

Maybe someone can invite the Republicans over for a caster bean picnic.

I kid the republicans.

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger Dennis Jernberg said...

No fun at a party being held just for them? Maybe the Gang Of Plunderers are beginning to see the iceberg heading toward the pirate ship Titanic. And the only choices they have for captain are wrecks themselves. This sign bodes well for America's chances in 2012.

At least the Gang can be consoled with this: they got to party free, courtesy of one of their corporate owners.

 

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