Congress Launches New Attack On The Quality Of Life

-by Noah



We all know that when Congress actually does do some work in their hectic 3 day a week work schedule, they spend a lot of time sitting on their increasingly fatter butts nihilistically thinking up new ways to screw everybody that doesn’t have a lobbyist stuffing huge wads of ill-gotten cash into their spiffy expensive Congressional suit pockets. What is it now? It’s this: House bill H.R. 3035, aka the Mobile Informational Call Act Of 2011. A plan to allow Robo Calls on our cell phones.

This bill would allow not just marketers and bill collectors to call us on our mobiles and waste whatever minutes on our plans that they can, it would, more importantly to the Congressional Vermin Hordes, allow them to robo us with “information” about why we should vote for them! Boy, now that’s useful! Hey, forget taxing the pigs on Wall Street a half of a percent more. Forget keeping the air and water in a non-poisonous state. Forget about the economy! To these “people” it’s all about finding “new and innovative” ways to destroy the quality of our lives.
 
Of course all of this has an added bonus for the elite Washington slime set. Our phones will be so worn out that we won’t be able to film them doing things like lunching with the Koch Brothers or jetting off to Jerry Sandusky’s Gala 2011 Double Secret Christmas Party & Showerthon.
 
With the usual Washington style, this bill is being presented as a way to to help us and protect us from things like identity theft and suspicious credit card use, and give us updates on flight info. I don’t know about you, but I already get all this stuff.
 
I just don’t need what Weepy John and Eric Cancer are tryin’ to sell me; make that force on me. Douchebags! Who else thinks H.R. 3035 is a swell idea? Try the Mortgage Bankers Ass. and the American Banking Ass. Now I’m sure those two soulless piss-for-brains associations just care soooo much about us. What a load these people are. They sure talk about getting government off our backs and out of the way a lot, don’t they? 
 
Tell ya what Mr./Ms. Congresscretin, how about you publish your cell phone numbers so we can call you all day and all night with some messages of our own? I’ve got some good ones for you and there’s plenty more where they come from. I can’t wait ‘til someone actually does start doing blast emails of the cell phone numbers of the members of The Amalgamated Asswipes Of Our Government Union, and doing it with daily updates too. These twisted morons in Washington would have to have their mindless twit staffers devoted to little but getting them a new cell phone number or a temporary cell phone everyday. Probably nothing would bring Washington’s incessant attacks on us to a screeching halt faster; something better, and pronto. I’m at the point where I’m in favor of Congressional Truck Dragings. Just hook ‘em up to the bumper and let it rip! Now that would get me to watch NASCAR!