Mitt Romney: Job Assassin

by Noah

I seriously hope that the joke doesn’t end up on all of us (as it often does), but I can’t help but laugh and laugh derisively when I see Mitt Romney. He’s kinda like “The Donald” Trump -- arrogant, overdeveloped sense of entitlement, funny hair. The difference is, of course, Romney does his hair with crazy glue, and oh yeah, he, unlike Trump, really does have all that money he says he has.

Romney has spent the last four years running for President. I guess that, in these times of austerity, even he can suck it up and leave his California palace, strap the family dog to the roof of his stretch limo and move into a smaller house on Washington’s Pennsylvania Ave. Talk about yer “shared sacrifice”!

Estimates on Mitt’s personal fortune vary, somewhere in the $200,- to $250,000,000 range, so it was really great to see Mitt attempt to get down with some common folk a few days ago. After all, he’s far from being a billionaire, so how hard can it be?

Well, if you’ve spent your entire life being so stiff, polished, every damn hair in perfect place, finely chiseled features, and so devoid of life and a pulse that you could easily be mistaken for a window mannequin, it’s apparently very, very difficult. After what Mitt said to some unemployed folks in a Florida coffee shop the other day, he’s probably asking his handlers to get him some of that “human thing.”

“I am also unemployed.”

-- Mitt Romney, June 16, 2011

I can’t imagine Mitt Romney walking into any room, let alone into a coffee shop. Instead, I find it all too easy to see him being wheeled in, stiffly upright, on a hand truck, or pulled along, carefully balanced, on one of those little four-wheel dollies, perhaps with his right hand mechanically animated to wave like the Queen of England’s hand does when she goes out and about from Buckingham Palace. Then his minders and knaves lift him up, bend his legs and sit him in a chair.

In the picture above, you can even see that they have moved his wooden arms into place to express a wooden gesture of some sort, complete with the fattest gold wedding band you ever saw shining on his finger. The recently added streaks of gray in the “hair” make a nice touch. It’s great when you can hire the best art directors money can buy.

I can sort of forgive him for his utterly tone-deaf statement. I doubt that the woodworkers who crafted him thought to give him working ears, or a heart, for that matter. To this point in his life, there has been no evidence of eithe

This era we are in is no time for some soulless, snobbish rich guy wisecracking about unemployment. We have too many of those. Romney has never had to worry about where the rent money or the next meal for the kids is coming from. Like any rich Republican, he has no idea that such worries even exist for some people, and no amount of pretending to care will make up for it. I suspect that Romney has spent most of his time on Earth wishing that he was a real human boy instead of a wooden puppet.

Then comes the lying. You can google the phrase "Romney lies" and spend as many hours as you want catching up with them.

Unlike George Washington, Romney can tell a lie. The bigger problem is, he can’t stop. To this point he has based his campaign on a very big lie. It’s a whopper! He claims pathologically to be a job creator.

Two facts of true history belie his statements: 1) As Governor of Massachusetts, his state placed 47th out of 50 in the job creation department. It would have been #48 but impoverished Louisiana just beat him out when Hurricane Katrina came along at the wire and devastated the state. 2) Romney made his fortune heading up Bain Capital, a firm that methodically leveraged and bought out companies, gutted them in a way that would make a mobster proud, fired the employees and sold the shells and empty husks off, before they went bankrupt.

Parasite!

In short, Mitt Romney has built his personal fortune of $200 million+ on the backs of American middle class workers. No wonder he is in the lead for the Republican Party’s nomination!

If Romney created any jobs, they were jobs overseas, in places like India and Communist China. Chances are that you are within the fabled six degrees of separation from someone whose job Romney took away. Maybe that person is even a close relative.

We can expect Romney to say that he created jobs. We can also expect that the media will not point out the vital details of where those jobs are, if they even exist, during the 2012 campaign; just like they don’t spend much time on what he did to Americans while at Bain Capital. The media seem to love him and Romney, like all politicians wants love. But, how can we trust a man who tortures a family dog to treat us humans any differently? Romney has already revealed more than enough of his bad character for us to decide if he gets a big job in D.C.

I know. I should be kinder to Mitt Romney. It must be so hard being unemployed with a quarter-billion dollars in your pocket. Oh, the pain and suffering! The worry! But, unlike the other people in the coffee shop, Romney chose to be unemployed. Righties don’t get that.

Romney’s foolish statement reminds me oh so much of when Daddy Bush walked into a supermarket (a place where they had food and all sorts of stuff!) and saw a price scanner for the very first time. He had no idea, zero, what it was. No clue. No difference.

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