Politicians Say The Dumbest Things

It was just 4 months ago-- almost to the day-- when Alaska teabagger Joe Miller (the guy who ran for senator) explained how to deal with illegal immigration by babbling ''The first thing that has to be done is secure the border ... East Germany was very, very able to reduce the flow. Now, obviously, other things were involved. We have the capacity to, as a great nation, secure the border. If East Germany could, we could." It didn't get him elected but it did help cement his status as one of the most idiotic of the fringe morons and crackpots running for high office. Another Republican, this one who has been successful in winning a Senate election, John Ensign explained how he conducted a long-term affair, at taxpayer expense, with his best friend's wife with this quote last September: "If you don't hold us accountable, we'll do some real bad things in Washington, D.C." No doubt.

And then there's Sarah Palin. Where do you begin?

August 7, 2009 (Facebook): "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel.'"

September 11, 2008 on ABC News when asked if America may need to go to war with Russia because of the Georgia crisis: "Perhaps so."

A timeless one from "her" book Going Rogue: "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?"

September 24, 2008, on CBS News, explaining the $700 billion government bailout of Wall Street to Katie Couric: "But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy."

November 22, 2010 on Fox with Sean Hannity: "I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree."

July 3, 2009, on quitting her job as governor to pursue a much more lucrative career as a stand up comedienne: "Only dead fish go with the flow."

Now none of these people-- not Palin, not Miller, not Ensign-- is ever going to be looked at seriously as a contender for the presidency. And most of them are more like footnotes to jokes, but Toponlinecolleges.com did a fun post 20 Stupidest Quotes To Come From Politicians and it starts with the ultimate political footnote: John Quayle, George H.W. Bush's bumbling vice president: "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." No one in Arizona must have minded; his even dumber son, Ben, AKA- Dirk Diggler, was recently elected a Congressman from Phoenix. Here are a few other doozies for your Saturday reading pleasure:

3. "They misunderestimated me."-- George W. Bush: Picking the dumbest quote from President George W. Bush is ridiculously hard to do, but this one rises above the rest for the way it succinctly captures his flagrant fouls when using the English language and the sheer bravado with which he greeted domestic and foreign problems.

4. "I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."-- Arnold Schwarzenegger: Uttered during the 2003 recall that would eventually put him in the California governor's mansion, Arnie's misstatement was a result of trying to utter the party line that "marriage should be between a man and a woman" when asked what he thought about gay marriage. Unfortunately, he accidentally inserted the wrong word into his response, leading to a classic blunder. He won the election by more than a million votes, too.

... 6. "We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we've had one under Obama."-- Rudy Giuliani: Speaking on Good Morning America in January 2010 in attempt to attack President Obama's approach to the war on terror, Rudy Giuliani told host George Stephanopoulos that the country suffered no domestic attacks in the Bush administration. Weird for the former mayor of New York City to forget 9/11. Critics were quick to point out his glaring error.

7. "This is a f***ing valuable thing, I'm not just going to give it away for f***in' nothin'."-- Rod Blagojevich: Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich went from unknown idiot to national joke when he was caught on tape talking about his attempts to sell Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat to the highest bidder. Needless to say, this is a pretty big no-no, legally speaking, and he was impeached and removed from office. Then, to prove he really had no shame, he appeared on NBC's The Apprentice.

... 10. "When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We're proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over the years, either."-- Trent Lott: Political speaking 101: never go on record supporting someone who used to be a nutbar segregationist unless you are prepared to praise their drive while simultaneously condemning their human rights statements. Senator Trent Lott learned that the hard way when he said in late 2002 that he and other Southerners had proudly voted for Strom Thurmond when Thurmond ran for president, and that a Thurmond administration "wouldn't have had all these problems over the years, either." Just for the record, here's a Thurmond statement from 1949 as he was campaigning: "I wanna tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that there's not enough troops in the army to force the Southern people to break down segregation and admit the niggra race into our theaters, into our swimming pools, into our homes, and into our churches." A real charmer.

11. "When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal."-- Richard Nixon: President Nixon was a deeply flawed and territorial guy-- there's no shortage of books digging into this-- but no public statement comes of his comes closer to describing his approach to executive power than this statement, given in the infamous interviews with David Frost in 1977. The guy was, indeed, a crook through and through.

12. "It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is."-- Bill Clinton: President Clinton had already lied about having sex with Monica Lewinsky, and this inane hair-splitting over tenses in an attempt to deflect his previous misstatement was not well-received by the press or the public. Clinton's managed to rehabilitate his image slightly in recent years in the manner of all ex-presidents who go on to work with global charity organizations, but his administration was forever tainted by his indiscretions and head-slapping efforts to rationalize them.

... 15. "Hunger can be a positive motivator."-- Cynthia Davis: Missouri State Representative Cynthia Davis wrote that "hunger can be a positive motivator" in a newsletter in which she argued against summer programs that provide food for poor or low-income children who receive free or reduced-cost meals at school during the academic year. She didn't address the fact that churches were behind much of the charity, or that the programs were pretty tightly budgeted. As a result, she came off pretty uncaring. Bad idea to look like you're opposed to feeding hungry children.

16. "I saw my father march with Martin Luther King."-- Mitt Romney: It makes for a cool story, but it's the classic political suicide: it just isn't true, and the revelation of its falsehood is damning to the campaign. Mitt Romney's statement about watching his father march with MLK turned out to be totally invented, though his campaign office later issued a statement that his claim was meant to be figurative. Nice attempt at a save, but it didn't work.

17. "Read my lips: no new taxes."-- Politician: Pro tip for all aspiring office-holders: never promise what you can't deliver. George H.W. Bush's line at the 1988 Republican convention was a huge hit and instantly entered the pop culture lexicon. But not long after he took office, he found himself raising taxes. Some argued that the taxes weren't technically new, merely old ones that had been raised, but Bush had also promised not to raise existing rates. As a result, a statement that had seemed so powerful looked stupid and reckless in hindsight.

18. "Our clear goal must be the advancement of the white race and separation of the white and black races. This goal must include freeing of the American media and government from subservient Jewish interests."-- David Duke: David Duke was a Grand Wizard in the KKK and noted for being an all-around hate-mongering fruitcake, but that didn't stop him from getting elected as a state representative in Louisiana. This statement is just one of the many idiotic ones he made attacking racial and ethnic minorities, and emblematic of the many things that kept him from attaining higher office, despite his attempts to run for Congress and President.

19 "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."-- George W. Bush: OK, one more from our 43rd president. It has nothing at all to do with policy, honestly; this list has covered both sides of the aisle. But this quote from 2000 is downright poetic in its insanity. You get what he was trying to say, and even recognize that he was going for a nice sentiment, but yowza, did he ever crash and burn on this one. Poor guy. It did not set a good tone for the eight years to follow.

You got a doozy to share?