The Noah Diaries 2011 (3): "We could tell by looking at her that she was not originally from this country"

Walmart eyes NYC, Keith O's back on the air, a "civics literacy test"?, the Civil War rages, the Great Sharia Panic, and more

Jimmy McMillan, of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, showed up at CPAC to announce that he was running for president as a Republican (see 2/13).

by Noah

2/3/11 -- Walmart continues efforts to crash the Big Apple

For years, there has been much discussion and arguing in New York City about whether we New Yorkers should allow mass merchant Walmart to build one of their dreck worship centers here. You can rest assured, Walmart has tried just about everything it can to get a foothold in NYC.

Sure, Walmart has a reputation for putting small businesses six feet under, and I guess the plan would be to tear down all of those empty storefronts and replace them with, what, massage parlors? Yeah. Most stores sell Chinese goods. That problem isn’t going away until we have U.S.-owned and -based factories making U.S. goods on a large scale again. To do that, Washington would have to slow down its bribe-procurement programs for at least a while and reinstate a sensible tariff and tax structure.

The thing I find most intriguing is that the same people who see no problem with Walmart, a front for China and its cheap goods, building a store here have a big problem with the building of an Islamic cultural center. I guess to the righties the commies are now good guys. Money talks! Besides, it’s easy to sell out your beliefs when you’ve already discounted your soul!

2/7/11 -- Second Amendment solutions

In the wake of the Tucson shooting spree, Alabama State Sen. Scott Beeson, in a talk about 'problem solving" -- specifically, what to do about illegal immigration -- said that Republicans need to "empty the clip and do what has to be done."

Later, he offered the usual "out of context" nuttery, saying he would never advocate such violence. Who, me? Not me. Neeeevvvver.

2/7/11 -- Olbermann to Al Gore’s Current TV

Right now the righty goons are laughing. Yay! No Keith. Stick a fork in him. Stick a fork in Librul TV! Not so fast. The medieval loonies like to use Al Gore as a whipping boy, source of derision and fund-raising bogeyman. Well, guess what, goofies. Al Gore now has a star attraction to bring eyeballs to his channel, which already has the potential to reach 60 million viewers. The name of the game is how many homes you can get into, and Keith means that now Current will be included in at least a few more cable packages.

Remember when Howard Stern supposedly committed career suicide by signing up with Sirius? Remember when Sirius was struggling? Stars bring more than attention. They legitimize, and, they give those who put local media packages together a selling point.

2/7/11 -– Tom Tancredo's "civics literacy test"

Last night Tom T gave a speech in front of his usual "night of the living dead" mob of teabagger immigrant-haters, calling for what he calls a "civics literacy test" to be given to anyone who wants to vote in our country. In other times such things have been used to say deny the right to vote, and now the Repugs are bringing it back. To justify his zeal, Tancredo claims that "people who couldn’t even spell the word vote put a committed socialist idealogue in the White House. His name is Barack Hussein Obama."

Ah, there ya go! Obama. ‘"Hussein" -- i.e., other, and, dare we say it, A-rab or nnnnee-gro. You know, like Bill-O sez, "untraditional." What if the same people had put McCain in the White House? No wild cheering from the crowd. In fact, no crowd. It's all about the "black dude."

What I love the most about Tancredo's calling for his "civics literacy test" before you can vote is that the cheering crackpot crowd seems not to have thought about whether they could pass the same test. Me has my doubts. Remember that dingbat Delaware teabagger Christine "I'm Not a Witch" O'Donnell, needing to be schooled about the Constitution during her debate? Shit for brains.

Sarah Palin was the keynote speaker at the same event. I’d love to see her test results.

Undocumented immigrants even fought and died in Iraq. Is that enough? Nope.

2/7/11 -- Before you open your piehole, Sarah . . .

Sometimes (?) it's really sad to watch Sarah "Quitter" Palin try to come up with something to say on whatever the current day's news is. Lately it's been Egypt, as her brain stretches and grasps for a way to blame it all on Obama. Earth to Sarah: Before you open your stupid piehole, prove to us that you can find Egypt on a map. Hint: It's in what you call the country of Africa.

2/8/11 -- I wonder what former Colorado Republican Chair Dick Wadhams' schoolmates called him on the playground

Yeeesh, what's with parents sometimes? I remember a girl in my high school named Heidi Lowey and a guy from Ball State University named Richard Ball. I’m also reminded of Johnny Cash’s song "A Boy Named Sue." A name that can be so easily turned into an act of derision, bullying, and mockery will either make you stronger or turn you into a sociopath of some sort. In Dickie's case it may be both.

He's a Republican, which takes care of the sociopath part. The other? Well, Mr. Wad was strong enough to quit his job at the head of his state’s Repug Party because he just couldn’t take dealing with the utter insanity and bullying of the state teabaggers. Kudos to you, Dick! Republicans who display such character and smarts are rare these days.

Now please don’t tell me you have a brother named Johnny.


2/8/11 -- "We could tell by looking at her that she was not originally from this country"

In a statehouse discussion about people receiving aid for education, Kansas State Rep. Connie O'Brien had trouble coming to grips with the fact that her son didn’t get financial help while another young student did. Right out in public, she said, "We could tell by looking at her that she was not originally from this country." When asked by a Democratic rep how she could tell, O'Brien responded, "Well, she wasn't black, she wasn't Asian, and she had an olive complexion."

Ah, the intricacies of Republican logic! Calling all cars, calling all cars, proceed to round up all people with olive complexions! Be on the lookout for anyone buying feta cheese, or grape leaves!

Be afraid! Be very afraid! Tune to FOX immediately for further instructions!


2/10/11 - – For some, the war still goes on



No, not the Vietnam War, or the Afghani War. I’m talking about America’s Civil War. (Why do they call it Civil anyway?) It seems that buffoon state Mississippi (surprise!), which is led by buffoon-in-chief Haley Barbour, is considering honoring one of its favorite sons, early KKK leader Nathan Bedford Forrest, on its license plates, as part of a 150th -anniversary celebration of the war. Nice! Why, I bet they’ll even pick out all the black males -- just the black ones -- in the state's prisons and give them the "privilege" of making those license plates. Barbour, of course, was once the national chairman of the Republican Party. The symmetry is perfect

The movement to honor Forrest is being led by the Sons of Confederate Veterans. Forrest is also famous in the South for leading a massacre of black Union soldiers after they had surrendered after a battle at Fort Pillow, Tenn., in 1864. Perhaps Derrick Johnson, current president of Mississippi’s NAACP chapter, said it best: "He should be viewed in the same light that we view Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.”

Yes, folks, there are people in Mississippi who wish to honor a terrorist of their own on their cars. It's just not enough to hail him as a local military hero. It seems that the South seceded in 1860 and never came back. They missed the 20th century entirely. Rather than put a Grand Wizard on your plates, why not just use "Stay Stupid" as your state motto and shorten the name of your state so the average Mississippian can spell it correctly in less than four minutes?


2/11/11 -- The Great Sharia Panic

Newtie and the rest of the other busload of assclowns on FOX can’t even open their fat yobs without speaking the word "sharia" in ominous and menacing tones. Repugs always need an enemy, but I can’t help but notice that the same bozos that want us to be afraid of Sharia law want us to embrace Catholic law and the laws of jihadist Christian nutjobs who don’t even want to stop at banning abortion in any and all circumstances. Hell, they even want to ban birth control! So far, our Constitution and our courts have protected us from those crazies for many, many years. Do the righties think they won’t protect us from Sharia? Is it a lack of confidence in the system they so fervently profess to believe in and support? Or is it that they believe that if they can subvert the Constitution and the courts for their own ends, then anyone including their jihadist rivals from another religion can too. No fear! No, fear.


2/13/11 -- This year’s CPAC meetin': what a zoo!

What a total zoo! Newtie, Pawlenty, LaPierre, Bachmann, casino czar Donald Trump. One after another went to the podium. But not Fred Karger. He’s a rare bird in Repug circles, and a very unwelcome one at that. You see, he’s openly gay. Kinda reminds me of that poignant song by the Juice Pigs, "I'm the Only Gay Eskimo."



For the second year in a row, the CPAC goofies chose Ron Paul as the ideal Republican Party presidential candidate. Paul is probably the most sane of all of them, but please consider the company. Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing a ticket of Jimmy McMillan and Michelle Bachmann.


2/16/11 -– Thought for the day -- thank you, Bill C!

There's an ad running on MSNBC for a Chris Matthews puff piece on Bill "Have a Cigar" Clinton. In the ad there are three Clinton quotes. (1) "I left the White House, but I’m still here." (2) "The people of America are having a tough time." And 3) "It's what makes me happy." Mix that in with his palling around with the Bush Crime Family and you have a reasonable explanation for the current state of affairs. Yeah, Clinton created 22 million jobs, but then they got shipped overseas by NAFTA. Yeah, you’re still here, Bill. Nero fiddled while Rome burned. Clinton just fiddled. His successor took care of the burning part.

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History in the making:
Selections from THE NOAH DIARIES 2011

Yesterday: (2) "If ballots don't work, bullets will." Plus: Sarah Palin shoots from the hip, Keith Olbermann gets the boot, Bernie Sanders challenges the oligarchy, and more (1/14-25/11)
Tomorrow: (4) "If some of those jobs are lost, so be it" (John Boehner). Plus: Michele B & breast-feeding, Taibbi on Wall St. prosecutions, The Donald's the man?, war on workers, war on women, and more (2/16-23/11)

FOR A COMPLETE LISTING OF THE SERIES, CLICK HERE

And don't forget 2010's Year in Review series and 2009's "12 Days of Christmas Scorn"!

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