American Republicans and Saudi Muslims: Common Ground

by Noah

A few days ago Ken ran a post about a humorous piece by comedian Andy Borowitz in “The Borowitz Report” in which Borowitz spoofed the Obama-Republican “compromise” on the extension of the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, or redistribution of wealth upward, as it's known in the real world. Said Borowitz in his made-up scoop:

In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim. Differences over his religious orientation have been a sore point between the president and his Republican foes for the past two years, but in agreeing that he is a Muslim Mr. Obama is sending a clear signal that he is trying to find consensus.

In the hilarious and utterly fictitious report, President Obama is quoted as saying,

The American people do not want to see us fighting in Washington. They want to see us working together to improve their lives, and Allah willing, we will.

The “report” goes on to mention that Rep. John Boehner had insisted that the president must also agree that he was born in Kenya, but the president would only reply that his place of birth “has been, and always will be, negotiable.”

Could anyone possibly take this obvious put-on seriously? you ask. You bet! Hey, very similar things happen here. Most Republicans seem to believe President Obama is a Muslim. Now that Republicans have the majority in the House of Representatives, they are making noises about hearings to investigate President Obama’s birthplace.

Almost instantly, after the Borowitz Report was published, one of the most read and most influential newspapers in Saudi Arabia, Al-Hayat, and Sabq, a news outlet believed to be government-run, ran with the Borowitz story as if it were true. Americans may not find this so unusual. After all, we have Fox News when we want made-up news, even obvious satire, presented as fact. But in Saudi Arabia, the “news” that the American president is indeed a Muslim was greeted with great joy and it made headlines. Sabq led with: “Obama: I’m ready to announce that I am a Muslim.”

Both news outlets quoted liberally from The Borowitz Report, falling for it hook, line, and sinker, incredibly right down to the part about the President saying the place of his birth was negotiable.

We’ve always known that the Saudi Royals and the Bush Crime Family were tight, but this confluence of Saudis and Republicans believing the same nonsense presents us with brand-new evidence of just how similar Saudi Muslims and American Republicans are. First of all, it has always been apparent that Republicans have no sense of humor. Anyone remember Fox News’s pathetic attempt at a Daily Show knockoff? Probably not. Apparently Saudis share in this no-sense-of-humor thing. In hindsight, though, it probably should not come as a surprise that they have so much common ground. Both are as pro-Big Oil as it gets. Both believe in the repression of women -- and even stoning of women in some cases. Both want the education of children based on a narrow set of religious beliefs.

You get the picture. The rabid religious freaks of the Republican Party incessantly warn of the dangers of Muslim Sharia law, but it’s very hard to detect a difference between Sharia and their own inflexible, repressive, and over-the-top puritanical so-called Christian doctrines. It’s “common ground,” for sure. It’s really a perfect storm. The Republicans, who constantly preach fear of Muslims, are just as worthy of being objects of fear; in fact moreso, because there are more of them here and they have more influence through the corporate media here. OK, I’ve never heard of a Republican supporting beheadings, but keep tuned to Bill O’Reilly and give it time.

Now I have to think about what the Saudis think of our supermarket tabloids. Do they subscribe to the Globe? Do they think those pictures of Daddy Bush and Clinton with aliens from outer space are real? Do they think Noah’s ark was found in Turkey, or on the Moon? Do they think Elvis is still alive?

I bet teabaggers do! They believe it all. But I have the secret that will crush them: Elvis was a Muslim!!!

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