Happy Labor Day!

by Ken

Howie already offered a Labor Day message, and I have nothing to add that isn't likely to be bleedingly obvious to DWT readers: that there hasn't been any time since the American labor movement took hold when workers -- and I mean all kinds of workers, union and non-union -- were less respected by their bosses.

As with so much of the apparently succeeding assault on the social fabric built up since the New Deal, I think what makes it possible for demagogues and power-grabbing morons to hornswoggle eager-to-be-deceived Americans is that the benefits are so entrenched that people with microscopic attention spans have no idea how much of the good in their lives is built on organized labor, government regulation, all kinds of government spending, and on and on. It's a willed stupidity that works wonders for the oligarchs and their faithful stooges, whose reward is to suck up most of what little trickle-down trickles down from the greed-besotted elites. It's not such a good deal for the rest of the populace.

People so stupid as to be fooled into believing that labor unions are their enemy and management is their friend will learn how wrong they are. Meanwhile, once again Andy Borowitz is wait out ahead of the official nooze media.

Labor Day Officially Moved to China
First U.S. Holiday to Be Outsourced


BEIJING (The Borowitz Report) -- Labor Day, one of America’s most beloved and longest-celebrated holidays, has been officially moved to China, U.S. officials confirmed today.

The Labor Day celebrations are expected to kick off Monday afternoon in Beijing with a barbeque attended by over seven million people and presided over by former NBA star Yao Ming.

The transfer of Labor Day to China represents the first time in American history that an entire holiday has been outsourced, experts said.



“It may be just as well,” said the University of Minnesota’s Davis Logsdon, who has lectured extensively on Labor Day traditions. “It’s been getting harder and harder for Americans to remember what labor is.”



Tracy Klugian, 37 said he was sorry to see his annual Labor Day barbeque relocated from his home in Medina, Ohio to Beijing, but is taking the loss in stride.

“I used to really look forward to Labor Day,” he said. “But to be honest, getting a day off isn’t as special as it used to be.”



While Mr. Klugian said it was “a little strange” for Labor Day barbecues to occur in China with no participation by Americans, he added, “Maybe someday we’ll be able to make illegal fireworks for them.”



Meanwhile, U.S. officials said it was looking "more and more likely" that Thanksgiving would be relocated this year to India.



“At the very least, Americans will still be able to celebrate Thanksgiving by phone,” one official said. “But they should listen closely because some menu options have changed."

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