Are Canadian Jews Planning To Spoil Cinco De Mayo For The Rest Of Us?

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo. I had been planning to do a post about the Close the Revolving Door Act, Montana junior Senator Jon Tester's profound legislative proposal to ban former members of Congress from lobbying... ever. It made me proud that Blue America helped Tester beat back the corporate shill that Schumer and the crooks at the DSCC tried to railroad into office-- much the way they are trying today to railroad-- and failing-- another corporate shill into office in North Carolina. (Alas, it looks like they are succeeding in swindling Ohio working families out of a Democratic candidate worth voting for which will mean that come November, Ohio-- and the whole country-- will be stuck with one of the architects of the Bush economic plan to destroy the middle class, Rob Portman.) Anyway, Tester is a moderate senator from a moderate state but every now and then he reminds me why we took on one of Wall Street's worst tools (Schumer) to got him the nomination and then helped him beat Abramoff-owned jailbait Senator Conrad Burns.

In addition to banning former members of Congress from becoming lobbyists, the measure would increase the “cooling off” period to six years before former Congressional staffers could register as lobbyists.  Staffers currently must wait one year.

The legislation also prevents a registered lobbyist from being hired by any member of Congress or committee they have lobbied for at least six years.

Tester does not allow himself to be lobbied by former U.S. Senators with whom he has served, or by former staff members who become registered lobbyists.

“When Montanans sent me to the Senate, I imposed strict ethics rules on myself and my staff because Montanans expect open and honest government,” Tester said.  “It’s about time for all of Congress to make sure decisions are being made based on what’s right for our country, not based on who hires well-connected lobbyists.”

But because tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo and because the fascists who run the state of Arizona are running an ethnic cleansing scam on Hispanics in that state, I decided to forgo a Tester post and instead point you to Michael Lacey's recent story in the Phoenix New Times, Jew Roundup, in the hope that it will get Jews like my brother-in-law to understand why its incumbent upon all Americans to stand up and just say "no" to the fascist authorities who have hijacked the Arizona Republican Party-- and to shame the cowardly non-defenders of immigrants in the Arizona Democratic Party, namely conservative congressmembers Gabby Giffords, Harry Mitchell and Ann Kirkpatrick. As Lacey explains, Jews have been "Pouring Over the Canadian Border to Flood Graduate Schools and Bank Parking Lots. Legislation from State Senator Russell Pearce Aims to Make Them Rue the Day They Ever Entered Arizona."

Immediate targets are expected to be foreign-born Jews hanging about in the parking lots of banks looking for odd jobs and for investors.

"This isn't about Jews occupying settlements on the West Bank," said County Attorney Andrew Thomas. "It's about Jews occupying parking lots at Citibank."

Complaints reached a crescendo at a recent Tea Party protest at Wells Fargo's headquarters in downtown Phoenix.

"After making my deposit at Bank of America," Senate candidate J.D. Hayworth told the crowd, "I asked a Jew in the parking lot if he'd like to make a buck. Next thing you know, my Chevy is swarmed. One of 'em got in my car, and we were halfway to Mesa before I figured out that he didn't want to trim my overgrown hedge; he wanted me to invest in his hedge fund."

Valley residents claim bitterly that the influx of Canadian Jews has greatly confused the traditional get-rich real estate schemes that have been the hallmark of prudent Arizona speculation.

...Hayworth, who is running against incumbent John McCain for the U.S. Senate, introduced the next speaker, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, to the rally.

Arpaio promised to round up all Canadian Jews whose papers weren't in order-- no matter what the federal government thought.

"I can spot a Canadian Jew as quick as you can say 'snow monkey,'" said America's toughest sheriff. "Hook nose and earmuffs... What's the mystery? So it's pedal to the metal until my jail's a shtetl."

The enthusiastic crowd erupted into a chant:

"Don't be stupid, be a smarty.
"Come and join the Nazi party."

Jews first began to leave Canada because there simply were not enough graduate-school openings for their children. The exodus put unbearable pressure on American dental, medical, psychiatric, and law schools.

Parents of Canadian Jews in graduate school have taken to bank parking lots in an effort to raise money for tuition. The clusters of men outside the banks offer advice, for a fee, on all forms of market speculation.

State Senator Russell Pearce, a Republican from Mesa and the primary mover of Senate Bill 1070 and House Bill 2632, challenged critics of his legislation:

"The government of the United States wants to tell American Jews at Goldman Sachs how much they can earn, but we can't tell Canadian Jews to stop earning and learning at our expense?"