The year-to-date in political ridiculousness

My friend Paul gathered together what he calls "The Year's (2010) Most Ridiculous Political Quotes . . . so far." I couldn't not pass it on. -- Ken

TOM DeLAY ON UNEMPLOYMENT

Former House Republican leader TOM DeLAY: "There is an argument to be made that these extensions, the unemployment benefits, keep people from going and finding a job. In fact there are some studies that have been done that show people stay on unemployment compensation and they don't look for a job until two or three weeks before they know the benefits are going to run out."
CNN's CANDY CROWLEY: "People are unemployed because they want to be?"
DeLAY: "Well, it is the truth. And people in the real world know it."

PAT ROBERTSON ON THE DEVIL AND HAITI

''It may be a blessing in disguise. . . . Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the Third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.''

—Pat Robertson, on the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed the capital and killed tens of thousands of people, Jan. 13, 2010

SARAH PALIN ON F-ING RETARDS

''They are kooks, so I agree with Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh was using satire. . . . I didn't hear Rush Limbaugh calling a group of people whom he did not agree with 'f-ing retards,' and we did know that Rahm Emanuel, as has been reported, did say that. There is a big difference there.''

-- Sarah Palin, attempting to rationalize why it's okay for Limbaugh to use the word ''retards'' but not Emanuel, FOX News Sunday interview, Feb. 7, 2010

"AN AFFRONT TO GOD"

''They intend to vote on the Sabbath, during Lent, to take away the liberty that we have right from God. This is an affront to God.''

-- Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), on Congress voting on the health care bill, interview with Glenn Beck, March 18, 2010

RUSH ON HAITI

''We've already donated to Haiti. It's called the U.S. income tax.''

-- Rush Limbaugh, discouraging donations to relief efforts in Haiti after the devastating earthquake, Jan. 13, 2010

RUSH ON WOMEN (OOH, NASTY IMAGE!)

''I'm a huge supporter of women. What I'm not is a supporter of liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose. Feminism has led women astray. I love the women's movement -- especially when walking behind it.''

-- Rush Limbaugh, responding to criticism that he is sexist and defending his selection as one of the judges at the 2010 Miss America Pageant, on Fox News' Fox & Friends,' February 3, 2010

RUSH'S "RETARD SUMMIT"

''Our politically correct society is acting like some giant insult's taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards. . . . There's going to be a retard summit at the White House.''

-- Rush Limbaugh, on his Feb. 3, 2010, radio show, referring to White House Chief of Staff Rham Emanuel's remark calling the idea of liberal groups running health care-related ads against Democratic lawmakers "f**king retarded" (Sarah Palin called on Emanuel to resign over the comment)

RUDY KNOWS 9/11

''We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we've had one under Obama.''

-- Rudy Giuliani, Mr. 9/11, forgetting 9/11, Jan. 8, 2010

OLD TIMES THERE ARE NOT FORGOTTEN

''If ObamaCare passes, that free insurance card that's in people's pockets is gonna be as worthless as a Confederate dollar after the War Between the States -- the Great War of Yankee Aggression.''

-- Rep. Paul Broun (R- Ga.), March 18, 2010

DON'T GO THERE, HARRY!

referred to Barack Obama as a 'light skinned'' African-American ''with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."

-- Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid, arguing in 2008 that race would help rather than hurt Barack Obama's eventual presidential bid (quoted in the book Game Change)

FATHER OF THE BRIDE(S?)

"In case anyone's wondering out there, yes, they're both available. . . . Only kidding. Only kidding. Arianna is definitely not. But Ayla is."

-- Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA), pimping out his daughters in his election night victory speech, Jan. 20, 2010

"BABY-KILLER!"

"Baby-killer!"

-- Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-Texas), shouting at Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Michigan) as he spoke on the House floor during the health care vote (Stupak had led a group of anti-choice Democrats who fought to change language in the bill to prevent federal funds from being used for abortions, but ended opposition after reaching a last-minute deal with President Obama)

SARAH KNOWS IRONY

''We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn't that ironic?''

-- Sarah Palin, admitting that her family used to get treatment in Canada's single-payer health care system, despite having demonized such government-run programs as socialized medicine that will lead to death-panel-like rationing, March 6, 2010

TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE, RAHM

''F**king retarded.''

-- White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, scolding liberal groups planning to air ads attacking conservative Democrats who were balking at President Obama's health care overhaul

WATCH THOSE F**KING MICS, JOE!

''This is a big f**king deal!''

-- Joe Biden, caught on an open mic congratulating President Barack Obama during the health care signing ceremony, Washington, D.C., March 23, 2010

GLENN BECK ON THE POLITICAL PROCESS

''I could give a flying crap about the political process. . . . We're an entertainment company.''

-- FOX News Channel's Glen Beck, Forbes interview; April 2010

ISLAND TIPPING POINT

''My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.''

-- Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) expressing concern during a congressional hearing that the presence of a large number of American soldiers might upend the island of Guam

A VERY CHRISTIAN CORPSE-MAN

"One such translator was an American of Haitian descent, representative of the extraordinary work that our men and women in uniform do all around the world -- Navy Corpse-man Christian Brossard."

-- President Obama, mispronouncing "corpsman"' (the "ps" is silent) during a speech at the National Prayer Breakfast, Washington, D.C., Feb. 5, 2010 (also, the corpsman's name is Christopher, not Christian)

GOD USES CRIB NOTES TOO

"I didn't really have a good answer, as so often -- is me. But then somebody sent me the other day, Isaiah 49:16, and you need to go home and look it up. Before you look it up, I'll tell you what it says though. It says, hey, if it was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it's good enough for me, for us. He says, in that passage, 'I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you,' and I'm like, 'Okay, I'm in good company.'"

-- Sarah Palin, on writing notes on her hand during her Tea Party convention speech, March 5, 2010

WHAT DID GOD WRITE ON HIS HAND?

"Energy," "budget" (crossed out), "tax cuts" and "lift American spirit"

-- crib notes written on Sarah Palin's hand during her speech at the Tea Party convention

RUSH ON COMPASSION (BOO! HISS!)

''This will play right into Obama's hands. He's humanitarian, compassionate. They'll use this to burnish their, shall we say, 'credibility' with the black community -- in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It's made to order for them. That's why he couldn't wait to get out there, could not wait to get out there.''

-- Rush Limbaugh, on Haiti earthquake relief, Jan. 13, 2010

THAT TICKLING'LL GET YOU EVERY TIME, ERIC

'"Now, they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday."

-- Ex-Congressman Eric Massa (D-NY), talking to Glenn Beck after resigning amid allegations that he sexually harassed his aides

"BLACK ROD" BLAGOJEVICH

"I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up."

-- ex-Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D), in an interview with Esquire magazine

GLENN BECK KNOWS RACE

"African-American is a bogus, PC, made-up term. I mean, that's not a race. Your ancestry is from Africa and now you live in America."

-- Glenn Beck, on his radio show, Jan. 7, 2010

GOTTA READ THE NOTES BEFORE YOU TALK, JOE

''His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And . . . although, she's . . . wait . . . your mom's still . . . your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.''

-- Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen (who is very much alive), Washington, D.C., March 17, 2010

UPDATE: CHECK THE CALENDAR

In the office today, Paul mentioned seeing my post of his cornucopia of preposterousness. When I thanked him for it, he grinned and said, "And it's only April."

#