Friday, March 05, 2010

It wasn't just the Devil that drove Sen. Ashburn to his gay nightclub, it was his "gay car"

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Finally, a homophobic right-wing pol caught flaunting his Wilde side has a reasonable explanation. -- Ken

MARCH 5, 2010

GOP Lawmaker Demands Recall of Car That Drove Him to Gay Club

Calls Gay Car ‘Menace’

SACRAMENTO (The Borowitz Report) - Anti-gay California State Sen. Roy Ashburn today demanded a sweeping recall of the vehicle that drove him to a gay nightclub this week.

Sen. Ashburn, a Republican who has consistently voted for anti-gay legislation, said that the car drove him to the club “against my will.”

“If we are recalling cars for problems with their brakes and power steering, then surely we should be recalling vehicles that force their drivers to go to gay nightclubs,” Sen. Ashburn said.

The state senator said not only did the car drive him to the gay nightclub, but it forced him to enter the club and party there for hours, resulting in his later arrest for DUI.

“I can’t tell you what a menace this car is,” he said. “It really is the gayest car I’ve ever seen.”

In addition to calling for a recall of the gay car, Sen. Ashburn said he would sponsor legislation mandating that all California vehicles be fitted not only with GPS but gaydar.

In other news, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin offered this appraisal of her standup comedy performance on The Tonight Show: “I was like, I’m not going to quit my day job, but then I remembered I already did.”
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4 Comments:

At 6:07 PM, Anonymous mediabob said...

Actually, considering the occupation of the Senator, this could be a class action suit. Someone should alert Washington immediately. However, he does dress nicely.

 
At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is so so funny. great work.

 
At 9:55 PM, Blogger Abbass Zammannii said...

I assume this article and its contents are in jest and the quotes aren't real? For the sake of our country?

 
At 5:33 AM, Anonymous Mark Scarbrough said...

I'm surprised the car didn't make him get gay-married: drive him to a (Unitarian) chapel, force his hand on, OK, not the Bible, but, um, Tales of the City (or being Unitarians, anything Thoreau), and then drive him to his honeymoon at one of the largest gay resorts in the world. (It's in Oklahoma City. I'm not making that part up. Look it up. Habana Inn.)

That car is clearly--clearly--part of the one-world, United-Nations, Anti-Christ propaganda machine. Shoot, I'll bet it ticks off distances in kilometers, too.

 

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