Well, no wonder Rummy and Big Dick and Chimpy were fooled about the Iraqi WMDs -- this guy's, you know, magic!

Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi, come on down! Would you buy used WMDs from this man? How about fantastical tales about mobile bioweapons trucks and secret laboratories? Okay, maybe you have to hear him to appreciate how charismatic and gosh-darn, mesmerizingly credible he is. Or maybe just how credulous the saps and sucker who listened to him were>

by Ken

I know we're supposed to be looking forward, always forward, and never backward, which is where we've already been, which couldn't possibly have any interest or importance for us. The past, ble-e-ech!

This charmer, this Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi -- this is the schlub who sold the intelligence, er, masterminds of the Western powers on a whole Iraqi WMD program, or rather a whole Iraqi WMD program made up in his head. I'm sorry the clip can't be embedded, but if you click through to the link (here it is again) you'll get to see and hear for yourself (in German, with subtitles) just what a Macchiavellian genius our Rafid is. Who wouldn't believe anything that came out of his mouth?

What, you say the real question is who would believe anything that came out of his mouth? Maybe that's why you're not working as an intelligence mastermind.

guardian.co.uk

Defector admits to WMD lies that triggered Iraq war

• Man codenamed Curveball 'invented' tales of bioweapons
• Iraqi told lies to try to bring down Saddam Hussein regime
• Fabrications used by US as justification for invasion

Martin Chulov and Helen Pidd in Karlsruhe
guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 15 February 2011 12.58 GMT

Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi, codenamed Curveball by German and American intelligence officials who dealt with his claims, has told the Guardian that he fabricated tales of mobile bioweapons trucks and clandestine factories in an attempt to bring down the Saddam Hussein regime, from which he had fled in 1995.

"Maybe I was right, maybe I was not right," he said. "They gave me this chance. I had the chance to fabricate something to topple the regime. I and my sons are proud of that and we are proud that we were the reason to give Iraq the margin of democracy."

The admission comes just after the eighth anniversary of Colin Powell's speech to the United Nations in which the then-US secretary of state relied heavily on lies that Janabi had told the German secret service, the BND. It also follows the release of former defence secretary Donald Rumsfeld's memoirs, in which he admitted Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction programme.

The careers of both men were seriously damaged by their use of Janabi's claims, which he now says could have been – and were – discredited well before Powell's landmark speech to the UN on 5 February 2003.

The former CIA chief in Europe Tyler Drumheller describes Janabi's admission as "fascinating", and said the emergence of the truth "makes me feel better". "I think there are still a number of people who still thought there was something in that. Even now," said Drumheller.

In the only other at length interview Janabi has given he denied all knowledge of his supposed role in helping the US build a case for invading Saddam's Iraq.

In a series of meetings with the Guardian in Germany where he has been granted asylum, he said he had told a German official, who he identified as Dr Paul, about mobile bioweapons trucks throughout 2000. He said the BND had identified him as a Baghdad-trained chemical engineer and approached him shortly after 13 March of that year, looking for inside information about Saddam's Iraq.

"I had a problem with the Saddam regime," he said. "I wanted to get rid of him and now I had this chance."

He portrays the BND as gullible and so eager to tease details from him that they gave him a Perry's Chemical Engineering Handbook to help communicate. He still has the book in his small, rented flat in Karlsruhe, south-west Germany. . .

There's more to the story, not to mention links aplenty, onsite -- for the strong of stomach. It'll all leave you wondering how the guy on 24 -- you know, Donald Sutherland's kid, the worst actor in the Western world -- would handle it.

Say, maybe Rafid could be persuaded to join Rummy on his book tour -- maybe do their version of "Who's on First?"? Or perhaps they could be joined by the trained seal of "presidential historians," Michael Beschloss (see "Should 'presidential historians' 'facilitate' noted war criminals like Donald Rumsfeld?"), and do selected Three Stooges routines, I guess with Rummy as Moe, Michael as Larry, and Rafid as Curly, or Shemp, or maybe Curly Joe.

Thank goodness our intelligence people now consume only the finest Grade A stuff a gullible intelligence operative can buy. Which probably explains our great triumphs in Afghanistan and the rest of the globe's hot spots. Of course if there are any little goofs in our operations there, not to worry -- they'll soon be in the past, and we can forget about them. It's a lovely system, really.

Welcome to this lovely new century of ours, the 21st. You could laugh, or you could cry. Or you could watch another thrill-packed episode of Cupcake Wars.

Do you suppose Rafid does cupcakes? He may have been able to pull the wool over German and American intelligence, but he won't slip any funny business past judge Florian.

#