Hysterical GOP hissy-fit headlines we won't be seeing: The case of the crusading conservative fake-investigators

Right-wing master propagandist-pimp Andrew

Breitbart (c) and his protégés, real-life "investigator"-

whores James O'Keefe III (l) and Hannah Giles (r)

by Ken

It's time for another edition -- by quick count roughly No. 1,835,856 -- of our favorite political parlor game, If the Shoe Were on the Other Foot.

Here are some hissy-fit headline we can expect to see not generated by GOP propagandists:

GOP Apologizes for Anti-ACORN Smear Job

GOP pols and propagandists disown

dirty tricksters and their "evidence"

GOP Congress Members Move to Censure Themselves

Over Bogus, Fraud-Based Campaign Against ACORN

Even as star GOP investigative fraudster-slimeball James O'Keefe III's evidence in his anti-ACORN scam unravels, the Rampaging Right's favorite juvenile delinquent of course has more immediate legal problems. It's possible the mental defectives of the Rampaging Right will be satisfied with his explanation for his little band of hoodlums' break-in and bugging of Lousiana Sen. Mary Landrieu's New Orleans office: "The sole intent of our investigation was to determine whether or not Senator Landrieu was purposely trying to avoid constituents who were calling to register their views to her as their Senator." It seems likely, though, that law enforcement authorities will be less impressed. The little thug is apparently an even more inept liar than he is a crusading investigator.

Meanwhile, though, left unresolved is the shitpile of his bogus ACORN "investigation." Interestingly, public attention was diverted from that matter about the time that (a) ACORN was officially cleared of any wrongdoing, and (b) the first people not on the payroll of the right-wing loons to take a proper look at O'Keefe's famous fake-prostitute video determined quickly and easily that it was obviously and crudely edited. You'll recall how quickly the entire right-wing establishment, including its junior wing, the Republican Party, joined in choral screeching denunciations of ACORN.

Our pal Mike Stark has posted a great update ("All You Need to Know About the ACORN Scandal and Who Is Behind It" on Huffpost, "More on ACORN/O'Keefe" on his own Stark Reports) on the GOP's lead crackerjack investigative fraudster-slimeball James O'Keefe, with video of emerging GOP master propagandist Andrew Breitbart.

In the first video below, Breitbart asks me if I’m disturbed by what I saw in the videos.

If he had let me answer, I would have told him that I perceive ACORN’s mission to be helping the underserved. That I don’t understand how helping women out of sexual slavery is something that deserves to be condemned. That what I’m disturbed by is the behavior being demonstrated by those up on the stage that would demonize people trying to make a real difference in people’s lives.

In the end, I think I ruined their little press conference.

Evidently, it hadn’t occurred to them that they might face serious scrutiny. Why, for example, does O’Keefe dress up in the ridiculous pimp garb for the bumpers of the video when he didn’t wear that costume into the ACORN offices? Why is Breitbart attaching his name and credibility to someone that was kicked out of his Rutgers dorm for refusing to cease his use of racial slurs? Exactly why would Breitbart expect an ACORN staffer to call the police on a Congressional candidate trying to rescue a young prostitute from her vicious pimp?

Finally, in the second video, we learn all we need to know.

After hiding behind the lawsuit and using it as a shield to deflect questions they did not want to answer, they refuse to commit to releasing every full and unedited tape they have in exchange for ACORN dropping all of its lawsuits.

If they really wanted the truth out there, why do they need to edit these tapes in the first place? Why aren’t the unedited videos already in the public domain?

Of course it's easy to understand why ACORN drives right-wing mental defectives so crazy. After all, ACORN's mission is to help the economically disadvantaged, which is another way of saying "the poor," and since the RWMDs are all devout Crap Christians, they know that God simply hates the poor, and only put them on earth to be savagely exploited by the rich and would-be rich. As the founder of Crap Christianity, Crap Christ, said, "The poor you will always have to exploit."
And since the poor are by definition, well, poor, the exploitation really has to be ruthlessly savage if it's to yield more than chump change. (In some though not all of the XXXXXX Gospels, Crap Christ also said, "And you know, they really smell bad.")

Some commentators feel that the Right-Wing Rage Against ACORN is actually driven by ACORN's ethics, recalling the voter-registration "scandals" in which not a single admittedly fake voter registration done by ACORN's hired hands led to a fraudulent vote, and that the fake registrations came to light precisely because ACORN fulfilled its legal obligation to report them when discovered to election officials. The theory is that the precedent could be fatal to the whole of Movement Conservatism. Could any Loony Right organization, including the Republican Party, survive the imposition of such a high legal and ethical standard? Certainly all of the GOP's vast network of genuinely fraudulent voter registrations and election riggings would have to be dismantled.

Now, just to bring it all home: Imagine that a right-wing operation -- Andrew Breitbart's, just to throw out a randomly chosen name -- were being investigated for alleged improprieties on the basis of evidence no better than this. How swiftly would national outrage, congressional condemnation and other punishments like attempted defunding be likely to come?

This is a trick question, I'm afraid. There wouldn't be any investigation. Well, why don't we sit back and watch the investigation into the activities of the New Plumbers, Mssrs O'Keefe and cronies. Already we can hear the mental defectives of the Right-Wing Noise Machine screeching about the rush to judgment against their hero, thug wannabe James O'Keefe III. Yawn.


TOMORROW --
If the Shoe Were on the Other Foot, No. 1,835,857:
JUSTICE ALITO FACES THE MUSIC [not]

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