For an authentic "Village Christmas," how can you go wrong with authentic Dem and GOP tchotchkes?

"Capitol Hill Club Merchandise Makes Great Gifts!" That's the message of the GOP club's holiday merchandise page. For that special gift that tells the giftee how you really feel about him/her, check out these cherished GOP tchotchkes. Also available: such treasures as computer bag (adjustable strap, black, $30), men's silk tie & women's silk scarf (red, yellow or periwinkle, made in France, $35; there's also a combo pack of the cap, shirt and bag, a $65 value, for only $55!), cuff links (white/blue or blue/gold, $30), golf divot tool ($12), crystal paper weight ($45), Limoges porcelain box ($45). Um, wait a second there -- "made in France"???

by Ken

I know I cast some unkind aspersions on latterday political polling yesterday. Let me make amends by pointing out that, if there's anything those polls keep telling us the American people love, it's:

* their Congress, and

* their two major political parties.

Naturally it's only to be expected that these loves will carry over into patriotic Americans' all-important holiday shopping, bearing in mind that, in the wake of 9/11, as former President George W. Bush cautioned us, if we don't shop till we drop, the terrorists win. And who better to service this patriotic longing than our pal Al Kamen, who has this to report in his Washington Post "In the Loop" column today?

A party Christmas?

Been working your tail off during the lame-duck and haven't had time to shop for Christmas gifts for politically interested friends and family? Don't worry. There's still time - as long as you move with some dispatch.

Lots of local tourist shops and online gift stores sell Republican and Democratic party wares. But buying in those places is pretty tacky if you're a real inside-the-Beltway type. After all, you want your out-of-town relatives to know they got genuine swag from the actual combatants

Both the Democratic and Republican House campaign committees have a wide assortment of mostly lower-end stuff: baby clothes, baseball caps, T-shirts, mugs, notepads, pens and such.

The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee has some similar items, but its GOP counterpart apparently doesn't have a shop, at least nothing on the Web.

For more upscale items, you might want to try the two parties' traditional watering holes on the Hill: The Republicans' Capitol Hill Club and the National Democratic Club. Neither offers a particularly wide array of goods, but they do have fine-quality ties, cuff links and such.

One problem is that the Democrats sell their stuff only at the club, and you've got to be a member or be with one to go in. (What happened to the party of the people, of inclusion and all that?) So it's who you know.

The GOP club, however, lets you shop online and, even better, has a keen sense of its clientele's tastes. Thus we find a "Limoges porcelain box" with elephants on the side selling for $45, a crystal paperweight for $45, and, yes, a "golf divot tool" embossed with a GOP seal for just $12. (A sure-fire dazzler at the Legends golf course in Massillon, Ohio.)

The GOP club also has men's silk ties and women's silk scarves with cavorting elephants playing musical instruments. They come in red, yellow or periwinkle, we are told, and are made in France.

French ties? Have we forgotten the Coalition of the Willing?

SPEAKING OF CONGRESS AND OUR BELOVED POLITICAL
PARTIES, ANY CHANCE OF SHUTTING "MISS MITCH" UP?

Am I the only one who experiences a seizure of actual physical revulsion whenever Sen. "Miss Mitch" McConnell opens that lying trap of his to yammer about "what the American people want"? Does anyone believe Auntie Mitch either knows or cares what the American people want? Except, of course, insofar as it helps his people to strategize force-feeding them the hooey inspired by his own reactionary political agenda and, more important, that of the moneyed folk who make it possible for him to continue to enjoy the lifestyle he's grown accustomed to as the Senate's chief Republican whore.

#