Thanksgiving Roz Chast-style: Wishing one and all a safe and happy holiday. Plus: How to cope with the holiday, if you have to

[Click to enlarge just enough for ready readability.]

GETTING THROUGH THANKSGIVING -- IF YOU'RE
STUCK WITH A THANKSGIVING TO GET THROUGH

by Ken

I'm sure the note was struck earlier, but for the mass-media audience, it was a revelation, especially for the holiday-phobic, Friends' Chandler hated Thanksgiving. It was the darkest day of his year. (Eventually, in a scene that flashed back to the gang's college years, we saw Ross and Monica's mother, played by Christina Pickles, refer to Chandler as "the boy who hates Thanksgiving." There's also a nice compilation of Friends Thanksgiving highlights -- naturally including Danish subtitles. Would it be Thanksgiving without Danish subtitles?)

For many of us, the one thing worse than not having a family Thanksgiving to go to would be having one. Some of my worst life memories are inextricably linked to Thanksgiving (we'll save those for another time; let's just say they include a turkey flying in, or I suppose out of, its roasting pan across a kitchen), but in a specifically political vein, when I became old enough to have politics, there was the inevitable moment at the gathering with what family we had left then when my adolescently intolerant self could no longer abide the prattling of The Conservative Cousin. And ka-boom!

AlterNet's Sarah Seltzer and Lauren Kelley have a nifty piece called 5 Ways to Deal With Your Conservative Relatives This Thanksgiving

Maybe your brother-in-law works on Wall Street and declares he wants to see the Bush tax cuts extended indefinitely as he scoops himself a generous portion of mashed potatoes. Or perhaps your aunt mentions, while checking on the turkey, that Sarah Palin is her role model and she can’t wait to follow her Rupert Murdoch-sponsored book tour from city to city. Or maybe, over a slice of pumpkin pie and coffee, your grandfather suggests that the Tea Party’s ideas aren’t half bad, and he likes that Rand Paul fella because he’s really getting the government out of people’s Medicare.



Given this month’s volatile political climate, chances are someone’s going to break the no politics/no religion rule and say something to make your blood boil as you sit around the table this Thanksgiving. When that cringe-inducing moment arrives, whether it's over appetizers or dessert, you want to defend the honor of progressives and their ideas without coming across as snotty, snarky, or out of touch. And without letting the situation devolve into violence. (You’re a pacifist, right?)


If you're facing a Thanksgiving Situation, I expect you'll want all the help you can get, in which case this piece is self-recommending, and I don't really consider it cheating to spoil the suspense by enumerating the "5 Ways." Onsite, of course, you'll find proper explanations, strategizing, and -- yes -- links. What would Thanksgiving be without links?


1. Brush up on Obama conspiracy theories.
2. Point out the infighting on the Right--and keep yourself out of it.
3. Bring up the Koch brothers.
4. Talk TSA gropings.
5. Find common ground by pointing out generational differences.

Alternatively, you can just hunker down with one of the cable-TV marathons sure to be offered for the holiday. Or if you're really desperate, I assume there's a Detroit Lions' game to be savored. What would Thanksgiving be without a Detroit Lions' game? (Want to field that one, Chandler?)

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