Comedy Tonight: Didja hear about Olympia Snowe?
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Today's Borowitz Report, passed on without comment:
GOP Claims Olympia Snowe Was Born in Kenya
Birthers Demand Proof of Non-Kenyan Status
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Just moments after she broke with fellow Republicans and voted in favor of health care reform, Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME) came under fire from the GOP for allegedly lying about her nation of birth.
"This vote is going to raise suspicions, once again, that Sen. Snowe was born in Kenya," said GOP Chairman Michael Steele. "We demand that she prove, once and for all, that she is definitely not Kenyan."
Orly Taitz, leader of the so-called "birther" movement, said that Sen. Snowe's vote was "textbook Kenyan" behavior: "She's putting her tribe first."
In other news, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh said he would acquire the St. Louis Rams and rename their stadium The House of Painkillers.
Limbaugh's move came after a failed bid to acquire Minnesota's NFL franchise and rename it the Minnesota Vicodins.
Elsewhere, the Rev. Moon married 10,000 people, putting him slightly ahead of Liza Minnelli.
UPDATE: Birthers And Borowitz Aside,
Hate Talk Radio On The Attack Against Snowe
Just as Senate Republican Caucus leaders Miss McConnell and Jon Kyl were announcing that there was nothing they could do to stop Olympia Snowe and other mainstream conservatives from busting the radical right's obstructionist blockage from time to time, Hate Talk Radio hosts like Limbaugh and Savage went on a rampage against Snowe. And Limbaugh gratuitously kicked Susan Collins-- and women in general-- in the teeth for good measure. These people are sick.
And they never learn! While the radical right fringe is undermining the mainstream conservative candidate in the upstate NY special election (Dede Scozzafava), the Democrat, Bill Owens, has jumped into the #1 position. If radical right kooks like Mike Pence are able to sabotage Scozzafava effectively enough, Owens will be the first Democrat to win the NY-23 seat since the Civil War (the real one, not the GOP one). -- Howie
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Labels: Andy Borowitz, Olympia Snowe, Rush Limbaugh
5 Comments:
Was the $20K fine enough? Maybe when Taitz becomes a real lawyer she will appreciate what just happened. I wonder if she is a mail order bride, just like her law degree? She is perfect reporter material for “Fake News”, where unfounded rumors and innuendo reign supreme , unlike a our US courts of law, where you need to present documented facts, not half baked lies (prepare for more failures). When flies get too close to the lights they get burned, Taitz just got burned, thing is, like a fly she will continue, no end in sight. Poor little Birthers they are haters not debaters.
A lawyer, dentist, realtor and black belt, wow I must say a JACK of all trades master of none.
I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK! WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE? WHO IS THE real OLYMPIA SNOWE? ARTICLE 1 SECTION 9! READ THE BILL!
Phew. That took a lot out of me.
It is not generally known, even to them, but Olympia Snow is a half sister to Ruth Ginsberg. They both had the same Kenyon black father who left them in childhood. What a tragedy. Also, Drudge is reporting that Susan Collins may be gay.
So many stories so little time to tell them.
The NY times is reporting that Rush Limbaugh is bi sexual. That is, if he wants it he has to buy it.
The birthers, the tea baggers, the screamers, and the deathers continued extreme minority presence will become tiresome to mainstream America, if it has not already done so. To all the birthers in La, La Land, it is on you to prove to all of us that your assertion is true, if there are people who were there and support your position then show us the video (everyone has a price), either put up or frankly shut-up. I heard Orly Taitz, is selling a tape (I think it’s called “Money, Lies and Video tape”). She is from Orange County, CA, now I know what the mean when they say “behind the Orange Curtain”, when they talk about Orange County, the captial of Conspiracy Theories. You know Obama has a passport, he travel abroad before he was a Senator, but I guess they were in on it. In my opinion the Republican Party has been taken over the most extreme religious right (people who love to push their beliefs on others while trying to take away the rights of those they just hate) and that’s who they need to extract from their party if they real want to win. Good Luck, because as they said in WACO, “We Ain’t Coming Out”. I heard that she now wants to investigate the “Republican 2009 Summer of Love” list: Assemblyman, Michael D. Duvall (CA), Senator John Ensign (NV), Senator Paul Stanley (TN), Governor Mark Stanford (SC), Board of Ed Chair, and Kristin Maguire AKA Bridget Keeney (SC).
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