West Palm Beach Sells Itself As A Perverse Tourist Destination

Foley to conduct magical mystery tour for Young Republicans?

When you think of West Palm Beach, what comes to mind? OK, "nothing" is an acceptable answer, but dig a little deeper. You probably remember Republican child molester and ex-Congressman Mark Foley, don't you? And what about his devious and corrupt Blue Dog successor, Tim Mahoney? Dig a little deeper and you'll come up with bank robbers Willie Sutton and Bernie Madoff. Yep, West Palm Beach attracts every kind of self-aggrandizing lowlife scumbag anyone with a bit of sense would want to avoid. But when you've got lemons... make lemonade. And that's exactly what Palm Beach County is trying to do.

No, not guided tours of West Palm's myriad gay bars hosted by realtor Foley, nor tutorials on Ponzi schemes from Bernie-- but some kind of a demented marketing strategy for what Time magazine is calling "the new capital of Florida corruption."

Rather than ignore or try to diminish the rash of high-profile thievery that's been going on in our community, they have suggested that we play it up as a kind of virtue.

Make all this money grubbing a calling card to visitors.

The Palm Beach County Convention and Visitors Bureau would be, in effect, advancing the reasoning attributed to renowned bank robber Willie Sutton, who, when asked why he robbed banks, is said to have responded: "Because that's where the money is."

Why visit Palm Beach County? Because that's where the money is... taken.

Just as crime stories magnetize TV audiences, the real-life crime stories of our county's upper crust could be used to attract tourists.

If you pile the Ponzi-scheme billions allegedly pilfered by financier Bernard Madoff in Palm Beach with the crooked self-dealing of three Palm Beach County commissioners and two West Palm Beach city commissioners, you've got the beginnings of a tourism marketing strategy. Throw in a little Mark Foley/Tim Mahoney congressional sex scandal action, and you've got a calling card to a vacation destination that Time magazine has just called "the new capital of Florida corruption."

Why not market that?...The county could be transformed into a kind of theme park for white-collar crime, which, because of the open-ended federal investigation, promises to be a growth industry.

Besides, it would be the patriotic thing to do. After all, the new Democratic Administration in Washington, DC, is set to see if it can be as corrupt as the outgoing Republican one was, so whatever spotlight can be taken off the Beltway, would be a service to... the Beltway.