"Speaking of old guys, how about that John McCain?" More on McCranky from Dave Letterman

"I like John McCain. He looks like the guy who gets frisky with the new waitress at IHOP.

"He looks like the guy who watches his Cadillac go through the car wash.

"He looks like the guy in the supermarket yelling into his cell phone, 'I'm in aisle three, Marge. I can't find the brownie mix.'"

Then there's this: "Did you hear about this? Two State Department employees were fired -- this is a bit of a scandal -- because they were looking at Barack Obama's passport file. Not only that, but the same person was also looking at John McCain's Civil War records."