Wisdom from the Beyond: Introducing a new feature, DWT brings you former President Nixon's thoughts about the Britney Spears custody case

Apparently, some of the "real people" at Amazon's Askville

Now that Amazon.com has introduced its exciting new Askville site,
"a friendly gathering place where you can ask questions on any topic and 'get real answers from real people,'" never let it be said that DWT can't rip off a cockamamie idea and go it one cockamamier.

Seeing the growing number of people on TV who specialize in communicating with the beyond, we realize that what "real people" really want is to get "real answers" to important issues of the day from the people who would know, the people who've been there and done that, and now have a more cosmic perspective: dead people.


For our inaugural outing, Juan T. from Ashtabula, Ohio, writes:

"I'm wondering what President Nixon, wherever he is, thinks of that judge taking Britney Spears' kids away from her."

President Nixon responds:

I'm glad you asked me that, Juan. As it happens, I've given the matter a lot of thought. And I have to say that, like most Americans, dead as well as alive, I have been appalled by the way the media has been hounding that poor girl. Lovely young woman. I read her blog every day.

It's like when Pat used to come whining to me about how our Trisha was caught smoking in Girl Scouts, or the other one--what the [expletive deleted] was her name? the one who married the idiot Eisenhower boy--was having sex with her boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, I would always tell her, "Stuff a sock in it, woman, I have important things to worry about for [expletive deleted]'s sake."

Oh, [expletive deleted], there she is, calling me again from Heaven. Wouldn't you know, they can call us, any time of day, but we can't call them! Probably just can't find her [expletive deleted] fuzzy slippers again. Like I would know what the woman did with them. They don't even let us have answering machines so we can screen calls. Well, I'm just going to let the [expletive deleted] thing ring.

At least she's not like that crazy slut Rudy Giuliani married--this last doozy, I mean. Do you suppose he knocked the [expletive deleted] bitch up? But to get back to your question, I think the judge's decision was an outrageous instance of judicial activism, and you can be sure that if I was still in the White House, I would have done something about it.

Although I do have to say I enjoy the way this KFed fellow belts a tune.

Richard Milhous Nixon was a U.S. senator from California (1951-53), vice president of the U.S. (1953-61), and our 37th president from 1969 until his resignation in disgrace in 1974. He died in 1994 at the age of 81.
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