THE SENATOR FROM THE STATE OF KANSAS IS MR. RELIGIOUS RIGHT

And in the sinful world inhabitted by the Republican base, Sam Brownback needs a closer look. Forget Obama Girl or Giuliani Girl for a minute and let's give Brownback Girl a chance to explain why her guy distinguishes himself from the pathetic bunch of pygmies. (I wish they could have afforded a better drag queen... Republicans are so square even when they try to be hip.)



You like? Cat Fight!

And then there's always the real danger (to America): Thompson Girl, a slutty and alcoholic opportunist living on the edge of the law in Nashville who married a dirty, albeit rich and powerful, old man. And now she wants to be First Lady... of the United States. "After meeting Fred Thompson, Kehn began establishing herself in Washington Republican circles, and marriage more than consolidated her place in the city. Today, Jeri Thompson, 40, has emerged as a driving and at times divisive force within the presidential campaign her husband is preparing to launch, one that could make her the nation's youngest first lady since Jacqueline Kennedy." It was her decision to portray money-grubbing Thompson, a lobbyist and malleable old actor with as few core values as Flip Flop Mitt, as "the true conservative in the race."

In the nascent Thompson campaign-- anticipated with high hopes by many conservatives unsatisfied with the current crop of GOP candidates-- Jeri Thompson plays a role arguably as influential as those of two better-known spouses of Democratic candidates, Bill Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards. She helps shape her husband's conservative message and image, has been a strong voice urging him to run and recently helped instigate a shake-up that pushed aside Thompson's first campaign manager and his research director... [She] works mostly from the couple's home in McLean, "running the campaign from the kitchen table." She frequently calls aides and demands answers quickly. "Everything for her is at Defcon," the source said, speaking on the condition of anonymity because the person was not authorized to speak on behalf of the campaign.