IT REALLY SUCKS TO BE A REPUBLICAN-- LITERALLY

Imagine how depressing it must be for Republicans. All the fastest growing minority groups just hate them. Lincoln was-- in a manner of speaking-- a Republican and he freed the slaves and African Americans have become the Democrats' most loyal constituency. In a quest for cheap labor, the greed and selfishness wing of the GOP-- the dominant Big Money wing-- has sabotaged the Border Patrol and done all they could to encourage massive illegal immigration under the Bush Regime. And yet Hispanic Americans have turned away from the Republicans in bigger and bigger numbers. The religionist nut wing of the GOP wants to subjugate the whole Middle East and treats Israel like the 51st state, but Jews still distrust the right-wing and still vote for Democrats by wide margins.

And gays and lesbians, it turns out, have become a bigger and bigger factor in electoral politics and even they are turning against the Republicans. How is it possible? Half the GOP hierarchy is... well, not exactly gay but they... well, they like to do the same stuff gay people do-- or something like that. And not only that, you've got the head of McCain's Florida operation (a state Rep., Bob Allen, running around public restrooms offering to pay men to fellate them). You've got Republican senators like Larry Craig (ID), Lindsey Graham (SC), Mitch McConnell (KY) and so many Republican House members that no one can keep count, who all know what gays go through-- in certain things, like keeping one's breath fresh and minty and stuff like that.

But just when a report comes out showing that gay men and lesbians vote in far higher proportions than non-gays, out comes another report about another in an unending list of Republican leaders sneaking around in the dark acting out bizarre, unhealthy, repressed homosexual fantasies.

More than 92% of gay male respondents (92.5%) reported that they voted in the 2004 presidential election with nearly 84% (83.8%) reporting that they voted in the mid-term election in 2006. Results for lesbians were similar with nearly 91% (90.7%) of lesbian respondents reporting that they voted in the 2004 presidential election and 78% reporting that they voted in the mid-term election in 2006. In comparison, media reports estimate that 64% of the general population voted in the 2004 presidential election and just 40% of the general population voted in the 2006 mid-term election.

Glenn Murphy, the recently elected chairman of the Young Republican National Federation got another male Young Republican drunk and when the guy woke up, the chairman was slobbering over his male organ, trying to give him a happy ending.

This kind of attention isn't translating into gay votes for Republicans. In fact, the only gays who vote for Republicans are similarly repressed, self-loathing, mentally ill ones. And that's a tiny percentage, considering all the affection and attention Republican leaders have been showering on male genitalia.

One problem might be Republican confusion. Republican men don't relate their obsession with sex with other men to being gay. So they can hate gays and vote against their interests and demonize them in election campaigns and still sneak around in public toilets and at Young Republican conventions fellating everyone in sight... all at the same time. What a mixed up crazy word these Republicans inhabit! Just look at this letter poor Chairman Murphy wrote when he was caught sucking off the other Young Republican (the one he had gotten drunk who had passed out). He decided to resign as Chairman of the GOP group. But his reasoning is... well, very, very Republican. Just read it and try explaining it in some way without admitting that Republicans need to spend a lot of time getting healthy mentally and emotionally before telling the rest of us how we ought to live our private lives.

To my dearest friends in Florida,

It's been an absolutely crazy weekend for me, and I just wanted to take a few minutes and share with you some of the decisions I’ve had to make in a very short amount of time. Some you may have heard, some not.

I wanted to address the Floridians specifically because of the close friendships I have developed with so many of you.

First the great news. I bid on a contract for my company a little more than a year ago. I didn't think it was going to go anywhere. It was a huge project, and taking on the commitment would be life altering for me and my business — my company doing in one year what I would ordinarily do in five. I never thought in a million years that I would land this bid. Well, I landed the bid Friday. Yay for me, right?

There was a major catch.

Due to the nature of the client, one of the stipulations in the contract was that I hold no official partisan titles. (insert gut-wrenching dilemma here) I could help. I could maintain the political consulting division of my business as long as I had additional lead consultants. But I could hold no official Republican positions.

My family sat down with me Saturday evening to look at things from every angle. We're very close. My mom was pretty blunt about what I needed to do. If I didn't take the job, there could potentially never be that type of opportunity again and I would be shorting the security of my future and the future of my family. I took mom's advice to heart.

Every one knows how hard I've worked for the party and the Young Republicans. We've achieved some amazing things together. So you understand how torturous and monumental this decision is — especially coming after an election I spent the last 6 months of my life working toward.

I spent the majority of my weekend shaking with anxious indecision. I didn't want to disappoint people. I didn't want people to be angry. But I prayed with my family, and we determined that I have to take this opportunity for my long-term security.

So what does that mean?

I have resigned from all of my Republican partisan positions and I signed my new client contracts this yesterday. Jessica Colón will take my place as YRNF Chair. We're working VERY hard to make sure the transition is seamless.

The elections of 2007 and 2008 are absolutely critical and the YRNF needs to be operating at full capacity – no limits, no constraints. I have the utmost confidence in Jessica Colón and the team we have all built to lead the Young Republicans into a new era of accomplishment. I believe in the strength and resolve of the organization and its members and have full confidence that my resignation will in no way hinder the new administration’s capability to make a positive impact on the upcoming elections. Together, we adopted our Recruit, Educate and Deploy strategy. Please support Jessica and the team. The whole 21-person elected team is still in place, save one.

With strong and talented people in place ready to take over the fight, my decision became at least a little easier. It would be (as my mom said) stupid to bypass this business opportunity.

My parents also gave me one other piece of advice. It was a piece of advice that I didn't need because it was already in my heart to do. Once we made the decision, they told me, "Make sure you talk to all of those nice people in Florida. We know how much they did for you and we know how much you care for them."

So, I hope you can understand how heart-wrenching this has been for me. And I hope you know how much I appreciate everything all of you have done me and for the Young Republicans.

This whole thing has been as unexpected to me as much as it has you. I hope you can support me on one of the "biggest decisions of my life."

Your Friend,

Glenn Murphy

Larry Wilder, Murphy's attorney, says of his client: "It is his position that what occurred, occurred between two consenting adults." No one asked him how someone drunk and asleep was "consenting." Republicans say the darndest things!