EVER MEET ANYONE IN A FRED THOMPSON T-SHIRT?

You may have noticed, as I did, a University of Iowa poll a few days ago that asked Iowans, regardless of partisan affiliation, who they would like to see as the next president of the United States. For all the hubbub being created in that state by Mitt Romney and his millions and by other desperate Republicans eager to be the personification of a third Bush term, Iowans aren't buying into the spin. "None of the Above" is the winner of every single Republican poll that offers that option and when "None of the Above" isn't offered, Republicans stay away in droves, as they did in Ames this past weekend, when they gave Romney a hollow, albeit costly, "victory." But the University of Iowa poll was far more representative. Among all Iowans, Hillary Clinton is the clear preference. And her biggest competition isn't a Republican. It's the somewhat-progressive alternative, Barack Obama. Another somewhat-progressive alternative, John Edwards, comes in third, tied with one of the pathetic pygmies™, Romney. (Giuliani, the most authoritarian and hysterical of the sad lot, had some votes too).

I'm sitting at Dulles Airport now, waiting to board my plane back to L.A. I passed a gift shop on the concourse and this, being Washington, DC, where the main product is politics, the window display featured tee-shirts and other campaign paraphernalia from highlighting various candidates. Actually, the window was mostly filled with Hillary Clinton stuff, although Obama and Giuliani had a presence in the display too. I asked the clerks why they was pushing Hillary so heavily. Both were from the Indian subcontinent and neither seemed too sure who Hillary was or what she stood for. But both Rozzina and Jasmin did know that Hillary sells four times more tee-shirts than all the other candidates combined. And of the other candidates, only Obama moves any shirts. "I sold a shirt for him," pointing to a really ugly Giuliani, "Thursday," said Jasmin. "No Wednesday," said Rozzina. One of them thought someone was interested in a Tancredo cigarette lighter the other day but it was a no-sale. I pointed to Romney and told them he had won the Ames poll and that surely people must be buying his campaign stuff. They both looked at me blankly and shook their heads. Did they sell any? They kept shaking their heads, sadly, I believe, thinking I was a Romney partisan. I'm not. Apparently his partisans all park their private corporate jets at another airport.