IS MITT ROMNEY THE NEW DAN QUAYLE-- OR THE NEW ALICE COOPER?

Golfers Dan & Alice have some makeup tips for Mitt

One of the wise old men of the Republican Party, golfer Dan Quayle handicapped the presidential race today. He says it will be a race between Hillary and a Republican making believe he is an outsider. Like everyone else, except for Lindsey Graham and Paco, the Honduran janitor at his campaign headquarters in suburban DC who send half his minimum wage check to his wife and children in suburban Tegucigalpa and is feeling quite flush, Quayle has written McCain off. He thinks it will come down to a choice between the billionaire Mormon and the two lobbyists, Giuliani and Thompson. Quayle coyly doesn't play his hand and has something sweet to say about each of the dismal prospects. "Romney still hasn't gotten on track but he's doing very well in the early primary states and has very good campaign staff and is able to raise money," he said. He didn't mention anything about Romney's nice chin, fine make-up consultant (Hidden Beauty of West Hills, California who he tried passing off as a "communication consultant"), or wonderful relationship with the pornography industry.

EarthTimes is less myopic about Romney than Quayle. They claim Romney's big spending campaign isn't making much of an impression on the voters. "Smooth talking Mitt Romney is back on the air with yet another new television ad just days after his second quarter fundraising report revealed that his multi-million dollar ad campaign has been funded virtually entirely with donations from his personal fortune. Romney's latest ad, entitled Ocean, offers more of the same smooth talk and empty rhetoric aimed at convincing conservative Republican primary voters to ignore his real record. Once again, he fails to outline clear plans on critical issues like the war in Iraq and fails to explain his constantly shifting views on just about every issue in the campaign."