"Laws? I don't obey no stinkin' laws!" Are Chimpy the Prez and his partner in crime "Big Dick" Cheney blood brothers of the Bad Baronets of Ruddigore?

"Each lord of Ruddigore,
Despite his best endeavour,
Shall do one crime, or more,
Once, every day, forever!

"This doom he can't defy,
However he may try,
For should he stay
His hand, that day
In torture he shall die!"

--the Witch's curse, from Gilbert and Sullivan's Ruddigore, or the Witch's Curse


Hey, didja hear what those "nonpartisan" sumbitches at the Government Accountability Office went and done? Them goddamn Commies--or fags, or immigrants, or Canadians, whatever the hell they are--tried to find out whether the president, our very own Chimpy, been thumbing his nose at laws he said in his patriotic "signing statements" he didn't have to pay no mind to.

'Signing Statements' Study Finds
Administration Has Ignored Laws

By Jonathan Weisman

For the first time, the nonpartisan Government Accountability Office -- Congress's investigative arm -- tried to ascertain whether the administration has made good on such declarations of presidential power. In appropriations acts for fiscal 2006, GAO investigators found 160 separate provisions that Bush had objected to in signing statements. They then chose 19 to follow.

Of those 19 provisions, six -- nearly a third -- were not carried out according to law. Ten were executed by the executive branch. On three others, conditions did not require an executive branch response.

The instances of noncompliance were not as dramatic as some of the signing statements that have caused the most stir, such as Bush's suggestion that he was not bound by a ban on torture in U.S. military detention facilities. But congressional aides said they were significant.

Non-friggin'-partisan, they calls theirselves? Not like real patriots who don't happen to be regular GOP-ers and instead call theirselves BUY-partisans, like His Holiness Rabbi Joe Lieberman from the great Nutmeg State of oblivion.

It ain't really fair for these non-friggin'-partisan sumbitches to go singlin' out the laws our Chimpy already said he didn't have to pay no mind to. Anybody can break them laws! The imperiality of our president shows when you lookit what laws he ain't broke, which is most all of 'em. Why, they prolly gives out a prize every day for who in the White House broke the most laws. Break enough of 'em and you bought the damn place.

It's like that other Tricky Dick, Pres. Richard Millstone Nixon, used to say: "The president am the law!"


SIR RUPERT MURGATROYD: THE FIRST WATER-BOARDER?

Carole Round as Dame Hannah tells the tale of the Witch's curse

in the 1999 SavoyNet Performing Group production of Ruddigore

In case you were wondering how the Bad Baronets of Ruddigore got themselves into this fix, and how it turned out, here is the full text of Dame Hannah's telling of the legend. (If I had a clue how to pass on a sound file, you could hear it. But alas we will have to settle for those "words, words, words" Liza Doolittle pronounces herself so sick of.)

DAME HANNAH:
Sir Rupert Murgatroyd
His leisure and his riches
He ruthlessly employed
In persecuting witches.

With fear he'd make them quake--
He'd duck them in his lake--
He'd break their bones
With sticks and stones,
And burn them at the stake!

CHORUS:
This sport he much enjoyed,
Did Rupert Murgatroyd.
No sense of shame
Or pity came
To Rupert Murgatroyd!

DAME HANNAH:
Once, on the village green,
A palsied hag he roasted,
And what took place, I ween,
Shook his composure boasted;

For, as the torture grim
Seized on each withered limb,
The writhing dame
`Mid fire and flame
Yelled forth this curse on him:

"Each lord of Ruddigore,
Despite his best endeavour,
Shall do one crime, or more,
Once, every day, forever!

"This doom he can't defy,
However he may try,
For should he stay
His hand, that day
In torture he shall die!"

The prophecy came true:
Each heir who held the title
Had, every day, to do
Some crime of import vital;

Until, with guilt o'erplied,
"I'll sin no more!" he cried,
And on the day
He said that say,
In agony he died!

CHORUS:
And thus, with sinning cloyed,
Has died each Murgatroyd,
And so shall fall,
Both one and all,
Each coming Murgatroyd!