SLOW NEWS DAY: NANCY GRACE, REPUBLICAN CONGRESSLOON TED POE, BRITNEY SPEARS AND PARIS HILTON... OH AND K-FED

I'm usually successful at making sure the worst elements of plastic celebrity "culture" are kept as far from me as is humanly possible. Sometimes when I go visit my pal Rus he likes to switch from TV station to TV station and through Rus I've been exposed to some of the most grotesque aspects of our celebrity worshipping culture. Last night, however, I have only myself to blame. I've been out of the country for 5 weeks and I've forgotten where the TV stations are on the dial, not that I watch that many. But where's the History Channel, Comedy Central, MSNBC? I started flipping around and I was confronted by one of the most unfortunate-looking women I had ever seen, unfortunate-looking and with a really nasty personality. I had first seen her on Rus' TV and he said watching her, Nancy Grace, has the fascination of watching a multi-vehicle pile-up on the NYS Thruway. I was about to move on when Grace, who if I recall, interviews celebrity criminals, addressed a question to "Congressman Poe."


Congressman Poe? The braying right wing nutcase from Houston? That might be worth watching. Turns out Nancy Grace was interviewing Congressman Ted Poe about whether or not Britney Spears-- pictured ad nauseum with that skanky Paris Hilton (proving beyond doubt in NancyGraceWorld that she's an unfit mother)-- should/would get custody of her and K-Fed's 2 unfortunate sons. Maybe they explained Poe's expertise in this matter before I tuned in but he felt neither K-Fed nor Brit were fit parents but that she'll get the kinds because "mothers always do." Checking on Poe's record of accomplishments as a congressman, I noticed he has the absolute worst voting record of anyone in his batshitcrazy party, scoring a perfect zero, in 8 legislative areas: Education, Humanities & the Arts, Fair Taxation, Family Planning, Housing, Human Rights & Civil Liberties, Justice For All: Civil & Criminal, Labor Rights and War & Peace. I suppose you could cobble that stellar record together and come up with a reason to invite Ted Poe on your TV show to talk about the Britney Spears/K-Fed divorce. Perhaps Newt Gingrich or Rush Limbaugh pulled out at the last minute and Grace needed just anybody to fill in. Or maybe she invited him because Poe used to be a judge. And Poe could have thought it would be as good as, or even better than, being on the Ali G Show or the Colbert Report.


Whatever the case, it's hard to imagine that his constituents think this is the best way for the congressman to spend his time. Of course, what do I know? I can't imagine anyone ever watching the Nancy Grace show or watching anything to do with Britney Spears, K-Fed or Paris Hilton... or voting for Ted Poe.