THE HONEYMOON IS OVER AND UNCLE SAM IS CHASING US AROUND THE HOUSE-- AND THE GUN IS LOADED

THE MYTHS OF OUR LIVES

As human beings, we tend to compose myths about the important events in our lives. We turn the stories of our lives into shorter, happier versions of reality. It is healthy, for the most part, and performs a function. It helps us to make meaning of our lives….to tell the stories. Mommy fell in love with daddy at first sight. It matters very little if that is literally what happened if mommy is still madly in love with daddy today or we can teach some lesson by telling it that way.

We have national myths and cultural myths and religious myths which we hand down from one generation to the next. They are, by and large, told to our children to give them a sense of continuity and meaning. America is all about freedom, we are the smartest and best, and Jesus loves me. We seem to be able to live with the fact that most of what we believe is not literally so. It is a feeling, an ambiance if you will that we are creating around our collective experiences.

Problems arise as problems will, when we move into the extremes, when we invest our myths with more meaning or veracity than they can safely embody. For example, when domestic violence erupts, too many women cling to the myth that he will change. Or, when one abuses their children, they tell themselves that they are doing it for the child’s good. We ought to be more skeptical of ourselves. Maybe it is time to edit our stories.

On a personal level, we experience difficulty when we refuse to alter our myths. We suffer depression and symptoms of our denial become manifest in the oddest of ways. We drink too much, we can't sleep. We lie.

Nationally, we are no less likely to hold fast to falsehoods. It is good for a people to have pride in their country, maybe even necessary. But, it is better to believe in ourselves as people rather than using our energies to uphold illusions. No matter how we try to hide it, national denial shows. The myth is wearing thin, people lie. They smile and deny the truth, get high on patriotism and back slapping. Avert your eyes, and you won’t see as much.

Even though George Bush has an approval rating under 40%, many cling to the national myth of his popularity. In regions like mine, people stubbornly refuse to believe anything except that George is God's agent. They deny the corruption, the deception, and the incompetence. They have difficulty accepting that their party of responsibility has run up the highest deficit in our history, we have lost face in the world, we torture and we have a president who lies with impunity. Even though they are losing their jobs, some still refuse to admit that Republican policies have failed them.

There is a disturbing rhetoric that goes with the failure of our myths. The more our myths are failing us the more we spin a web of the sacred around them, the more desperate our situation, the more we describe it in glowing terms. We exaggerate the smallest bit of decency into a monumental victory of character. A battered woman will explain that yes, her husband does chase her through the house with the gun, but it is not loaded. At least he works and brings home the bacon, he does not cheat on her. The husband of an alcoholic will admit his wife has a drink now and then to calm her nerves, her days are stressful. The child abusers believe that if they spare the rod, they spoil the child, whatever platitude will work to warn people away from the truth. We got a million of 'em. The more emotionally charged, the greater the distance between myth and reality. If we can bring God or country or "family values" into the mix, that best of all.

The denial we live with on a personal level costs us something. Sometimes, it is minor. But, sometimes it costs us a child or a husband or wife our lives. Sometimes we make others pay by not facing our own problems. Consider drunken drivers, or even those who snap and kill others because the strength of their myth crumbled one day in the face of their reality. We are not strangers to betrayal.

Nationally, we are reeling under the weight of the myths we've told ourselves since 9-11. We told ourselves that we were united, when millions of Americans were shamed into silence and their love of their country was questioned because they did not think the Iraq war was the war to fight. We are reeling under the weight of the lies, the war profiteering, the abandonment of our own in crisis and the abandonment of our troops who lack body armor these several years past their deployment. We are in denial when we dismiss ideas that we are not meeting the needs of returning troops. We are in denial over our national debt of over 9 trillion dollars. And, we pretend like the improved economy for the rich is helping us in the middle as we lose good paying jobs and see increases in our own taxes.

We put on our national sunglasses and lie to the neighbors. The media refuses to hold Bush and his people accountable for outing an agent of the United States government or for exposing an agency which was monitoring WMDs worldwide. Our officials increasingly describe the nation in glowing terms. One gets an eerie sense that their tether to reality is completely severed. We feel a bit sick to our stomach, something is wrong. We close the curtains and deny. We shame and threaten those who would tell on us. The denial is costing us. The pressure is mounting. The faces of news casters and pundits are twisted into the oddest expressions as they repeat over and over obvious lies and excuses and lob softballs.

We have come to the place where we call black white and up down. If the country were in a 12 step program our peers would be calling us on the carpet over the depth of our denial and lies. Our sponsor would throw in the towel.

The faithful deniers come on very strong these days. Just this week I was told that George Bush is God's agent, and that it is just plain wrong to question him. If you are going to name drop, it gets no better than God. As a nation we need counseling to leave our abusive husband, a support group, or anti-psychotics. Bring 'em on.

Here's the truth, folks. We have religious groups suing for the right to engage in hate speech against gays and protesting at military funerals. Our military generals are one by one speaking out in an unprecedented effort to put the brakes on an administration out of control. We have congressional leaders indicted for corruption claiming to be victims of religious persecution. George Bush is mentioning the unmentionable, nuclear option. Please note: there is no such thing as a nuclear war! There is however, nuclear annihilation. No matter how we close our eyes and plug our ears, we must admit global warming is for real. Clinging to our collective myths is costing us. Uncle Sam is chasing us around the house, and the gun IS loaded.

Let's start working through our "issues." Let's just get honest about it and leave the tall tales for less significant matters. Let's save the myths of our lives for children's books. We can keep enough honesty in them to be accurate and enough romance in them to be compelling, but whatever we do, let us tell ourselves the true national story as we gather in conference rooms, news rooms, restaurants, town halls, and even in living rooms. Let's embrace reality. Face it, the honeymoon is over, our love is unrequited, and we have been had.

-Mags