HOWDY DOODY IS BACK! FLORIDA CONGRESSLOON ADAM PUTNAM WANTS TO JOIN THE GOP HOUSE LEADERSHIP IN ITS TWILIGHT YEAR
Grotesquely fat and always over-eating House Speaker Denny Hastert-- don't these religionist fanatics consider gluttony a sin anymore?-- and his California closeted gay boy, David Dreier are working their tails off to keep the GOP House leadership from completely falling apart. Many back-benchers are clamoring for a complete change in leadership from top to bottom, not just the increasingly bloody and treacherous contest to replace Crime Boss Tom DeLay. Hastert himself is being investigated for his relationship with Abramoff, which looks like it skirted legality, and for the bribes he accepted from Turkey for agreeing to de-rail the efforts of Armenian-American groups.
But in the middle of all this turmoil, the GOP may be about to bring Howdy Doody into its rapidly depleting leadership ranks. To show he was serious about his long-shot candidacy for House Majority Leader, extreme wing-nut John Shadegg (R-AZ) resigned as chairman of the House Republican Policy Committee. And who should pop up out of nowhere and nominate himself to take Shadegg's old job? Yes, silly Florida loon, Adam Putnam, who's only qualification seems to be that Jack Abramoff, thinking he was too inconsequential to even bother to bribe, never gave him any money. Putnam was endorsed by one drunken congressman from Oklahoma, John Sullivan, but when he sobered up he endorsed Thaddeus McCotter (a right-wing Michigan loon who, though he is likely to be defeated in November by good-government candidate Tony Trupiano, is viewed as less likely to pee in his pants if someone yells at him than Putnam).