REPUBLICAN CRACK WHORE JEAN SCHMIDT CAUGHT WITH HER PANTS DOWN. CONGRESS ADJOURNS AS MEMBERS TRAMPLE EACH OTHER TO GET AWAY

Hometown paper, the CINCINNATI ENQUIRER is reporting today that psychotic crack whore Congresswoman Jean (aka- Jeanne) Schmidt was lying her ass off when she claimed Colonel Danny Bubp told her to call decorated marine John Murtha (D-PA) a "coward."

If you've been on Mars and missed this story, the whole thing-- including KGO Radio's startling revelation that Ohio Republican Congresscreature Jean Schmidt is a sick and perverted crack whore-- can be accessed by clicking on "Congresscreature" or any of the highlighted words a couple inches back. But today Malia Rulon is reporting in THE ENQUIRER than Schmidt's wild accusations, typical of her entire career as a right-wing extremist and hatchet-woman, known locally as "Mean Jean," are ricocheting and causing her mega-problems back home. Turns out she fabricated the whole thing about Danny Bubp calling her and asking her "to send Congressman Murtha a message: That cowards cut and run, Marines never do." Although Bubp, a colonel in the Marine reserve and a local Republican freshman legislator back in Ohio, neither confirmed nor denied that he has witnessed Schmidt in the process of crack whoreness, he did say she's a liar. Burp said he called Schmidt, an old crony, on Friday to discuss the Republican resolution that called for the immediate withdrawal of troops from Iraq-- not to talk about Murtha; he said he would never call a fellow Marine a coward. "I wish she never used my name," said Bubp.

Decked out in a red, white and blue tablecloth, Schmidt was booed off the House floor and forced by the Republican leadership to withdraw her slander. She's gone into hiding, refusing to speak to the ENQUIRER, canceling a previously scheduled radio talk show appearance and a farewell dinner for outgoing Cinci mayor Charlie Luken, and she refuses to resign and will not comment about the KGO crack whore revelations.

According to the ENQUIRER, a lot of locals-- in an area better known for its speed labs than for crack whores-- are embarrassed. "'How dare this idiot call John Murtha, a war hero, a coward. I am ashamed to be from her district,' Gregory Moore, a 39-year-old lawyer from Batavia, said in an e-mail. Chris Finney, a Cincinnati lawyer who led an anti-tax group in opposing Schmidt during her recent special election, said the politics of negativity and name-calling should be a thing of the past. 'People want someone who can get things done,' Finney said. 'She's an embarrassment to this district.' Several bloggers called on Schmidt and Bubp to apologize and resign their offices [Poor Bubp! He didn't do anything to deserve to be tarred with this brush. Can you imagine growing up with a name like Bubp? I mean little kids are so cruel. No wonder he turned out to be a Republican!] Others compared her remarks with a statement she made minutes after she was sworn in on Sept. 6. 'I pledge to walk in the shoes of my colleagues and refrain from name-calling or the questioning of character,' Schmidt said then. [Oops.] 'It is easy to quickly sink to the lowest form of political debate. Harsh words often lead to headlines, but walking this path is not a victimless crime. This great House pays the price.' Sarah Feinburg of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee said Schmidt's remarks could attract Republicans to oppose her in next year's primary election or encourage Democrats to run. Freshmen typically are the most vulnerable lawmakers in elections. 'We're starting to talk to folks in the district about running against her,' Feinburg said. 'Jean Schmidt's been in Congress less than three months and she's already managed to alienate the entire House of Representatives, not to mention every veteran. ... She hasn't shown herself to be an asset for the district.' But some Republicans are praising Schmidt. 'We stand behind her sentiments,' said Brad Greenberg, executive director of the Hamilton County Republican Party. 'I don't believe that Jean Schmidt intended to attack (Murtha) personally. I understand that people felt that she was attacking him, but I don't believe that, in her heart, she meant to.' Schmidt's offices in DC and in her district, claim she is receiving overwhelming support but they are either lying or delusional (both well-known symptoms of extended crack use).