FRIST SUBPOENAED

Although Tennessee's crooked right-wing senior senator, Bill Frist hasn't been arrested yet, he has been subpoenaed by the SEC and must turn over all personal documents pertaining to the insider trading scandal that netted him millions of dollars. He will also be forced to testify under oath, a major problem for someone who lies as naturally as normal people breathe.

Frist has used his position in the Senate to craft medical legislation that has benefited corporations, including his family's, while screwing patients. Long considered one of the least ethical of any current senator, Frist is trying to get the Republican nomination for the 2008 presidential race.

"It seems that for years, Frist may have misled his constituents and the American people about his health care industry stock holdings and the conflict of interest they created as he drafted our nation's health care policy," said Karen Finney of the DNC. "This deal raises even more questions about the Republican culture of corruption in Washington, D.C." Frist has also admitted killing stray cats.