Wednesday, August 17, 2005

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BUSH'S WIRELESS SET GOES AWRY?

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Bush isn't just completely scripted, he has people reading speeches into an earpiece-- and answering questions for him into an earpiece-- that he can then repeat, like a trained parrot. Is this terrible? Well, I'd like a president who can think and communicate. But recently Bush gave people like me a dose of what would happen if he tried doing it without the wireless. He was out at one of his fake town meetings where only invited right-wingers are allowed in. Apparently something went wrong with the communication system that allows a staffer to feed him the word-for-word answers to pre-screened questions. In this case a friendly Republican woman in the audience asked, referring to his confusing and ill-defined attempt at destroying the Social Security system: "I don't really understand. How is the new plan going to fix the problem?"

Bush, with no assiatance from his handlers, gave this EXACT word-for-word response, in front of thousands of appalled Republicans:

"Because the -- all which is on the table --begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculated, for example, is on the table. Whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those -- changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be -- or closer delivered to that has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the --like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate-- the benefits will rise based upon inflation, supposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those -- if that growth is affected, it will help on the red."

Maybe it's better if we just acknowledge he's better off as a parrot than as a... thinker and leave well enough alone.

1 Comments:

At 11:10 AM, Blogger KenInNY said...

Hey, if you got Christopher Lloyd to reprise his old TAXI role as poor brain-destroyed-by-drugs Rev. Jim Ignatowski, and if you had the Reverend Jim for some reason discourse on Social Security, or someething (it isn't absolutely clear to me that Chimpy is quite sure that it's Social Security he's supposed to be talking about), I'll bet he could make this script pretty funny.

I don't know that that would make any of us feel any better, though, since it doesn't change the fact that these are the utterances of the president of the United States. (If you don't believe me, check his underwear. I'll bet he's got it sewn in, just like name tags for sleep-away camp.)

And the last thing I want to suggest is any identification between Jim Ignatowski and . . . that guy. They may both have been done in by drugs, but underneath his confusion Jim was sweet, charming and human while that other guy is, well, none of the above.

K

 

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