[5/26/2011] Ring Lardner Tonight: Can you guess who wrote these three "Talk of the Town" items about Ring? (continued)

Okay, here are our three "Talk of the Town" items, in chronological order.


1. The Talk of the Town,
May 11, 1929

[untitled]

Unable to attend a big banquet at the Hotel Commodore last week, Ring Lardner, the after-dinner speaker, explained his absence in the following telegram: "SORRY I CANNOT BE WITH YOU. IT IS THE KIDDIES NIGHT OUT AND I HAVE TO STAY HOME WITH THE NURSE."

CAN YOU GUESS?

1. The above item was written by:

(a) New Yorker editor Harold Ross
(b) James Thurber
(c) Ring Lardner
(d) the Lardners' family nurse, Gusti Feldman (a real person)
(e) the Lardners' family wolf-keeper, Sarah E. Spooldripper

2. The Talk of the Town,
Sept. 14, 1929

English Baseball

Ring Lardner has been at it again and has got things into a big mess at East Hampton. They had a ball game there, Fathers vs. Sons. Old Lardner came to bat in the third inning and bunted. The ball was fielded and thrown to first, a flawless play, and the runner was out a mile -- or he would have been if he hadn't done something unexpected and ridiculous. Instead of running to first he ran to third, where he arrived breathless but pretty smugly satisfied with himself. This caused general excitement. Old Lardner was surprised when they told him he was out, that he shouldn't have run to third. He was sullenly obdurate when the whole Sons team mobilized from all quarters of the field and protested loudly in a body. He explained that he had learned the game in England and that there the batter ran to third when he had hit the ball. When it was bitterly pointed out that Long Island isn't England, Old Lardner made the point that no signs had been put up telling a runner which way to go -- had they? This argument, supported by the runner's obvious intention of remaining on third base anyhow, proved unanswerable, except by muttering. The younger players retired to their positions and the game went on, but by glances they conveyed to Young Lardner that they held him responsible for having such a stubborn boob for a father. On the next pitched ball, Old Lardner stole second. This again surprised everybody but nothing was done about it. On the next ball he stole first. Here they made a play for him. If the catcher had been half a second quicker they would have had him out. This seemed somehow to legitimatize Old Lardner's being on base. At any rate nobody said anything, and he ran home when the new batter made a hit, passing the latter halfway between first and the plate. The game went on, but hard feeling cropped up from time to time; and it has since. None of his friends will speak to Young Lardner, Young Lardner won't speak to Old Lardner, and the situation generally is so disagreeable that the family may have to move somewhere else.

CAN YOU GUESS?

2. "English Baseball" was written by:

(a) New Yorker editor Harold Ross
(b) James Thurber
(c) Old Ring Lardner
(d) Young John Lardner (age 17)
(e) Young Jim Lardner (age 15)
(f) Young Bill Lardner (age 14)
(g) Young David Lardner (age 10)

3. The Talk of the Town,
Oct. 7, 1933

Minor Crime

One of the many Ring Lardner anecdotes is about a happening in Boston, where he had been telegraphically summoned by a harassed and plagued Florenz Ziegfeld to do emergency patchwork on a musical show about to face the test of Broadway. Lardner tried to do what he could, but accomplished little beyond turning in a batch of lyrics, most of which were found three days later under a chiffonier in a hotel room. He attended quite a few conferences, but he wasn't heard much, and he was heard not at all at the grand, conclusive, final conference before the show entrained for New York. This was held in a hotel room, beginning about midnight, and as soon as it started, Lardner repaired to the bed, where he lay throughout the long proceedings, silent and still, and presumably sleeping soundly. Along toward four o'clock, the last problem had been debated and the last decision made and the meeting was declared over. With a few sighs, the gathering relaxed into refreshments and idle chat. "Know what I think?" demanded one of the recent conferees, and when two or three people had said no, they didn't, he continued, "If you want to know what I think, why, I think the Astaires [pictured above] are going to steal this show." At this there was a voice from the bed: "That would be petty larceny."

CAN YOU GUESS?

3. "Minor Crime" was written by:

(a) New Yorker editor Harold Ross
(b) James Thurber
(c) Ring Lardner
(d) Flo Ziegfeld
(e) Adele Astaire
(f) Fred Astaire

THE ANSWERS
(NO CHEATING, PLEASE!!!)

1. (b) The untitled item about Ring's banquet cancellation is credited to ("written by" seems a bit of an overstatement) James Thurber.

2. (a) "English Baseball" was written by New Yorker editor Harold Ross.

3. (a) "Minor Crime" was also written by New Yorker editor Harold Ross.

SCORING

Give yourself one point for each correct answer, and zero points for each incorrect answer. (No partial credit allowed.)

If you scored 3 or higher, you got them all right, or maybe your mathematical skills need refurbishing. If you scored 0 or lower, you got them all wrong. If your score was anything else, you were somewhere in between.


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