Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Remember that time President Chimp On Crack compared himself to Elvis Presley? It was back in the fall of 2018 down in Tupelo, Mississippi, a town best known as the birthplace of Mr. Presley. Trump remarked that "people are saying" that he looks a lot like Elvis. Sure, Mr. President. Go snort some more of whatever you're snorting. It just goes to prove that self-delusion is a sad and terrible attribute, especially in politicians. Too many of us just see what we want to see when we look in the mirror. Elvis and Donnie. Donnie and Elvis. Can you imagine Donnie Trump gyrating and shaking his hips while playing "You Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog" or any other Elvis tunes? Yeah, I know Pence, Lindsey, and Moscow Mitch can but if I think of Donnie and Elvis, the only comparison I want to see would involve Donnie lying dead on the floor next to his gold toilet, with his little twitter machine in his even littler hand and an empty bottle of Adderall nearby.

I shouldn't say this, you'll say I'm very conceited, because I'm not, but other than the blonde hair, when I was growing up, they said I looked like Elvis. Can you believe it?

Well, no, Donnie. Only in your dreams. I can't believe it at all but what sane person would believe anything you say about anything? Of course, your crowd cheered you. They always do.

That brings us to the depiction in tonight's meme. It's a spoof on Presley's first greatest hits album "50,000,000 Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong." Obviously, it refers to the 6200 fools this delusional "Fat Elvis" imitator drew to that arena in Tulsa a week ago, but, it could just as well refer to the 62,000,000 gullible fools who voted to install him in the White House in 2016, not to mention the dumbasses who have kept him there since.

The real Elvis made a bunch of movies; some good, some bad. Looking at Fake Blonde Elvis on this parody album cover makes me think of a script idea of my own. Since the featured photo on the cover is from President Chimp On Crack's dejected walk from Marine One to the White House as he returned from Tulsa, how about this for a movie idea? Here's my plot summary:

A totally deranged fake 'billionaire' becomes president when Wall Street and America's corporate news networks get behind him and present him as presidential by putting him on TV night after night after fucking night as he runs for president. Miracle of sick miracles, the deranged fake 'billionaire' gets elected on an archaic technicality and mayhem ensues. 62,000,000 voters remain convinced that they made the right decision in the voting booth because they slavishly watch a hypno TV white supremacy network and eagerly eat nothing but bad, chemically-laced food that has rotted their brains. The bad, mind-altering food is pushed by the same kinds of corporate entities that marketed the aforementioned deranged fake 'billionaire' man as presidential. One night, a rally out west goes horribly wrong and the president completely flips out during the long plane ride home on Air Force One. A major fight starts when the crazed president tries to break into the pilot's cabin shouting 'I know more about flying a plane than my pilots do!' Punches are thrown. Screams are heard. Kicks are made. A sedation syringe is plunged into the neck of the president, his little hands are tied with his red tie and his red hat is forced into his mouth to serve as a gag. Eventually the plane lands in Washington and the president, looking very dejected and clearly roughed up from head to toe is seen walking across the White House lawn in the dark of that night. All of those aboard the plane live to tell the tale of what happened on the plane but none of them do. It's all hush-hush. A few months later, the president, now sedated all the time, is reelected by most of the 62,000,000 with the additional help of North Korea's finest computer hackers. The country dies. The End.

Yeah, I know. The plot is too implausible. Who can imagine that ever happening? I'd be thrown out of the pitch meeting on my ass but I know in my heart that my movie, I call it "The President's Brain Is Missing," makes all the bad movies the real Elvis made look like Oscar material, in the Documentary category.