Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Dateline Washington, DC:

President Donald Trump, America's leading advocate for the coronavirus took to the White House Rose Garden today to proudly announce the transmission of at least 2,000,000 cases of the virus along with a death toll of 100,000 American citizens. Speaking before a small assemblage of reporters and pointing to his Transmission Accomplished" banner, the president said:

I, me, um, I, I'm before you today to say that we have prevailed. I have achieved what no other world leader has been able to do. Look at my banner. I am one proud boy about this. The United States is number one again. No one. No other country has more Covfefe-19 cases than America. My supporters know this is true. I am making America great again. My success is so beautiful, so powerful that not even the nasty "Fake News" can lie about my numbers on this. And there will be more. That I promise you. Fauci can't stop me. Promises made. Promises kept. My approval ratings in the coronavirus spore community are higher than the Bachelor or Monday Night NFL Football. 96% of republicans love me. My friends in Russia won't top me, same with the place where the corona originated, some lab in Chiiiina. 400 pound guy in lab coat in Chiiina. Chiiina which has so many more people, so many more, yellow people, shoes, shoe patents for Ivanka, still so many more. Many. This is a tremendous accomplishment. That I can tell you. Believe me! We have topped Chiiina and they have so many more people. I have taken what was just a very bad virus and turned it into an unstoppable whirlwind of death. Death. Death. I love the poorly breathing. Dead. That's a very good thing. Obama wouldn't have done that because he is weak. Barack Hussein Jihad Black Obama. Obamagate. Not Sleepy Joe Bidengate either. Hillary should be in jail. Where's Bill Barr? Is he here? Anyone can get a test you know, a beautiful test. Everyone. The best tests. We have the best tests. Tremendous tests. Big beautiful tests. The best tests. Everyone's saying. Mike, you've had the test, right? Did you drink the Lysol like I said? That works. Really works. I swallowed a lightbulb. Space Force, it's a wonderful thing. Wonderful...thing.

After the announcement, the president verbally abused and berated some female reporters and had Kellyanne Conway cut all of the garden roses off their long thorny stems with a sickle and smash them with a hammer. Then he whipped Tucker Carlson with the stems as Tucker cried out for more.