Monday, March 23, 2020

Princess Ivanka Trump’s Tone-Deaf “Helpful Household Hints” Blow Up In Her Plastic Face


-by Noah

While her brothers show what assholes they are by posing with their defenseless murder victims, Ivanka prefers to reveal herself by speaking or obnoxiously tweeting, just like Daddy-Poo.

Earlier this week, The Princess Bozo tweeted out some of her clueless ideas for “fun activities” that a mother can do with her children while marooned at home and social distancing themselves from the outside world, you know, not unlike Ivanka herself distances herself from the outside world in the White House or whatever tacky palatial Trump homes she and her douchebag husband choose to live in.

Ivanka’s tweet consisted of her suggestions along with a photo (seen below) of her and two of her children “camping out” in their “living room.” The photo isn’t new by any means. You can tell by the age of her kids that it’s three or four years old. Also, we now here that the photo was taken in an apartment in Russia. Whether the apartment is owned by the Trumps (likely) or the Putins is up for conjecture.

In any event, The Princess Bozo suggested that mothers should “plan a living room camp out! Throw a bedsheet over some taped together brooms. Plan a menu & ‘pack’ sandwiches, salads (S’mores optional).” It was an open invitation for instant twitter blowback and the blowback exploded bigly.

Celebrity-Model Chrissy Teigen may have been the first to fire a shot across Ivanka’s ass but she was not alone. Teigen asked The Princess Bozo- “After we quote pack unquote sandwiches, can we please have Covid tests?” Teigen also commented that the “brooms” in the photo weren’t brooms but pieces of a clothing rack “but yeah, America only understands ‘taped together brooms.”

Other responses to Ivanka’s inanity quickly came from the twitersphere as follows:

1. Obama_I-Miss wrote: And a f-cking pay cheque- does Ivanks even know or care, how stressful it is for so many that can’t work right now?

2. @RandallUhrig showed a picture of the detention cages in Texas where children have been stashed after being ripped from their parents’ arms and wrote: Too bad other parents don’t have the luxury Ivanka has of staying home with the kids. Or making tents except out of tin foil. Her kids are 8, 6, & 3 yrs old so unless she rented a baby, the last time she stayed home with them was two years ago.

3. In the same vein, @LizWhite33 wrote: What do you suggest for the kids in cages who don’t have sheets?? Will the guards provide s’mores?? #fucktrumps

4. Christian wrote: fun fact, that staged photo is roughly 3 years old.

5. @OrffThe wrote: People are starvinb, people are ill, and you respond like that in a crisis. You actually have no soul.

6. @streetnoodle wrote: You’ve never been in an average American home, have you, dear?

7. @Catman51913767 wrote: Can you also send aide to retail workers and cashiers who can’t afford to go in isolation or quarantine? Some of us are also paid $7.50, have to use family or food stamps. Please keep in mind we risk our health so Americans can hoard and sneeze on us.

8. @lifesafeast wrote: Congratulations on being rich & being married to a guy actually profiting off this catastrophe. There are actually people suffering. Without enough food. Without nannies or cooks or cleaning people to help with the kids. Who are forced to work or risk losing their job/business.

9. @gabrielsherman wrote: Never waste mass death and misery for a personal branding opportunity!

10. @LisainNJUSA wrote: Ivanka, STOP. This isn’t a snowstorm & day off w/the kids. Enough pix of you. It’s a pandemic that 36% of Americans aren’t taking seriously b/c of your father & FOX calling it a hoax, a flu, and a bad cold. Thx to your dad we have such limited testing & many people will die.

11. @NoShenanigans2 wrote: What? There’s a Camping Barbie now? Damn, I just bought Pandemic Barbie because I was told that was the shinny new toy.

Inae Oh, News and Engagement Editor at Mother Jones, called the advice from The Princess Bozo “A Giant Middle Finger to Parents Struggling During Coronavirus.” I, however was wondering how long before The Princess Bozo or some other member of America’s most insipid family suggests the following tips to deal with this crisis. Here are just a few:

1. Sure the market has gone way down but as our Larry Kudlow says, “Buy the dip!” Yep, take advantage of today’s low stock prices and plan for the future! (It never occurs to the Richie Rich cretins that not everyone has that kind of ready cash.)

2. Out of toilet paper? Use the filters from your Keurig or Espresso machine!

3. Need a little extra cash? Sell your mink or other fur! You can buy a new one in the fall!

4. Have an affair with my dad! Make a quick $130,000!

5. Have your kids make Trump 2020 signs and sell them on line! We will sell you a license to make them and send you all of the patters, approved designs, and legal paperwork you’ll need!

6. Hungry? Eat cake! Eat roadkill! Eat poor people!

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At 5:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the American version of "Let them eat cake".

If only we still had the guillotine...

At 6:32 AM, Blogger BroD said...

u r soooo mean!

At 9:12 AM, Anonymous Richard Langly said...

6:32, All of us have been way too kind to all of the Trumps and their kind. The time for the guillotine arrived long ago and we allow them to go on and on.

At 9:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

and we'll re-elect them, should there actually be an election.


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