Wednesday, September 03, 2014

In case you were worried about how our boy Eric Cantor would pay his mortgage . . . (And his poll guy's doin' fine too!)


Will our boy's new employer be providing him with flags, or will he have to bring his own to NYC?

"After [Teabagger challenger David] Brat's victory, 'many analysts accused Eric Cantor of paying more attention to Wall Street than to the people of Virginia's 7th District,' Kevin Broughton, a spokesman for the Tea Party Patriots Citizens Fund, a super-political action committee that supports Brat, said in an e-mailed statement. 'He certainly didn’t waste any time validating that theory.' "

by Ken

An impudent tweeter raises the question of "prior experience in banking or investment" in connection with former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's new job. "Prior experience"? Why would anyone think experience would be a factor in his deal -- worth "at least $3.4 million" -- with the New York investment bank Moelis and Co.?

The word is that our Eric will be "providing strategic counsel" to, well, somebody connected with Moelis. The firm? The clients? Himself? Presumably the "strategic counsel" won't involve congressional primary elections, which turn out not to be his strongest suit. So maybe it's his people skills? That's a joke, folks. By the time our boy slinked out of D.C. town, you get the feeling that his closest pals were giving him the old "Write if you get work."

Well, our boy has gotten work! Here's how Bloomberg Businessweek's Annie Linskey and Roger Runningen break down the $$$:
The base salary for “providing strategic counsel” to the firm: $400,000. He’s also set to receive an “initial cash payment” of $400,000 and $1 million in stock, according to the company’s filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Next year Cantor’s “minimum incentive compensation” will be $1.2 million, plus $400,000 in stock. The company will pay for Cantor to live in a “reasonable” New York apartment. Cantor will also take a seat on the company’s board, which will expand to seven members from six.
Not too shabby, eh?

Yes, the new gig is in the Big Apple. No carrying this dude back to old Virginny! But then, I don't suppose anyone was really expecting him to retreat to Hicksville. He's become a real big-city boy with real big-city tastes, especially when it comes to the wining and dining, if we can trust reports about his Village lifestyle at the peak of his powers. I guess he would be offended if we suggested that we kind of expected him to turn up as some kind of K Street lobbyist schlepp. Would that be a big enough payoff for a man who rose to be the No. 2 man in the House leadership by showing that any subject can be twisted for political gain if you're know how to mix crackpot right-wing ideology with punishing abrasiveness and ruthless self-promotion?

In reality, I suppose the numbers aren't really that spectacular. Look how much bunching-stuff-together you have to do to crank the total up to that $3.4M.

I assume that Eric's people and Moelis's have had some discussion of what the agreement means when it comes to providing the new strategic-counsel provider with a "reasonable" apartment. I apologize for zeroing in on the real-estate angle, but since this is a New York City job, any normal New Yorker is likely to zero in on the real-estate angle. Assuming you've got a job, your highest priority as a New Yorker is almost certainly going to be your real-estate situation. After all, isn't that why you needed the job?

I'm assuming that the " 'reasonable' New York apartment" alluded to doesn't mean what "reasonable" might mean to you or me -- like maybe a cozy 1BR in, say, Jackson Heights, Queens, convenient to transportation. Maybe we should be watching for him as a client on the next season of Million Dollar Listing: New York?

"A 'used tool' that 'had been successfully
bought and sold many times in the past' "

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—A used tool that has been on the market for several months was purchased on Tuesday for the whopping price of $1.8 million.

While it may not have set a new record, the sale price raised eyebrows, with many observers noting that $1.8 million was a lot to pay for this particular tool.

But others defended the purchase, arguing that the tool had been successfully bought and sold many times in the past.


Check it out! Last November, following the defeat of far-right Republican kook "Cuckoo Ken" Cuccinelli in Virginia's gubernatorial election, NewsmaxTV's Steve Malzberg chatted with "my friend" John McLaughlin "about [according to the YouTube blurb] recent polling done in Virginia, Conservatives should pay attention to!" The ace Republican pollster's message (are you sitting down?): Republicans are conservative! Stop the presses! With magical insights like that, is it any wonder that John's wee boo-boo in his polling for Eric Cantor's June 2014 primary doesn't seem to have harmed the lofty reputation of McLaughlin and Associates ("Where Strategic Solutions Begin")?

Not to worry! Just like Eric himself, his numbers guy is doin' just fine, thanks, and hasn't even had to change professions -- check out Howie's great post last night, "You Know Who ALWAYS Wins In Elections?" In case you hadn't guessed, the people who always win in elections (and I don't think this is too much of a spoiler) are the political consultants.

Back in June my friend Leo, who has spent his life in market research, was frothing about the gap between the polling for our boy Eric and the actual primary results. He didn't see how such a thing could have happened unless it was intentional.

The good news -- for the sanctity of our "electoral system" -- is that it doesn't matter! The system is humming, couldn't be better! Maybe once a time the role of political consultants had something to do with helping get candidates elected, but now the business of political consulting, as managed by both major parties, is just (barely) legal extortion, whereby new candidates in particular are forced to hire party cronies who don't do anything for them except drain all their resources. (Older-and-wiser candidates come to view the healthy bite taken out of the precious funds they raise as merely a price they pay for, you know, protection.)

Man, this is sweeter than "waste management" -- the kind of racket I'll bet Tony Soprano would have loved to get his hooks into.

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At 11:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr Cantor may be lacking specific "banking and investment experience" but I an confident his intrinsic vicious, compassionless, predatory outlook is what won him the new position and what will carry him far in his new career. The only question is how many others will he take over he cliff with him.

John Puma

At 4:46 AM, Blogger KenInNY said...

I imagine our boy Eric will be deeply flattered -- possibly to the point of tears -- by your kind words, John. He does what he can.


At 2:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can'tor knows how to please without leaving stains on his navy blue suit.


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