Saturday, June 06, 2009

If I was President


By NOAH   

Baucus deserves so much more

There have been countless, words written about the Health Care Crises which threatens to END our country. I, myself, have thought of a few far too wordy posts regarding this deadly serious matter. I am a Single Payer supporter. However, between work and my own health problems, I simply haven't had enough time to write. But, this morning, in a flash of inspiration and total frustration with the brigades of assclowns in Washington, it hit me that there was an easy way to get satisfaction on this issue.

As exemplified by U.S. Senawhore Max Baucus, the lowlifes in Washington refuse to listen. In a clear example of class warfare, they refuse to even give us the government health care plan that they get as a perk for their cushy do-nothing but collect cash gigs. Congress needs motivation to fix the problem instead of the current motivation not to fix the problem in the form of the bribes provided by the Insuro-Medical Bribery Squad on K Street. In a more righteous alternate reality, if I was President (dream music please) with the Pol Pot style power that Dickhead Cheney dreams about, here would be MY solution to the health Care Crises...

I would go to the House and Senate and tell them:

1) As of this moment, you no longer have government healthcare for yourselves or your families (not that such "people" give a damn about their families).

2) Also, as of this moment, you no longer have job security of any kind and can be recalled at a moment's notice and told to empty out your desk, including the Congressional Page that lives under it.

The Health Care Crisis would be solved in a week, if not sooner. It has become clear that these "people" will not listen to anything else.

At the same time, I would do to K Street what Hitler did to the Warsaw Ghetto, rounding up the Bribery Squad this time, folks who actually deserve to be rounded up. As a bonus, I would hire Iraq's former Republican Guards and Israel's top Commandos to work together to do the job, thus proving that we can indeed all get along just fine.

To pay for it all, I would set up a Pay Per View Television Show which would consist of Senawhores Max Baucus (D- Insurance Lobby) and Bitch McConnell (R- Insuro-Medical Complex) being stuffed into old wooden beer barrels with only their heads sticking out so we can get a good look at their ugly mugs as they are sent down the Niagara River and over Niagara Falls, (the Canadian side for a touch of irony)! It would be the most watched and cheered TV program in history. DVD sales would also go through the roof. The money could be used to find a cure for cancer and force Big Pharma into actually making it available.

Enough is ENOUGH! Vote for ME!!!!!!!!!!

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At 8:45 AM, Anonymous John Paul said...

Too soft on politicians. Ben Nelson is third man over.

At 8:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would you want to sully such a national treasure as Niagara Falls?

No. Torches and nooses are far simpler.

At 10:41 AM, Anonymous john paul said...

Good point anon. Let's drop them in volcanoes along with operation rescue and fox noise. The world would be a better place than ever we thought that it could.

At 11:22 AM, Anonymous NOAH said...

John Paul- I have always thought kindly of the live volcano idea. My version includes a plank like on a pirate ship. As for your suggestion about Ben Nelson, it's a good one but I just tried to limit it to two representative samples, singling out tow of the most reprehensible examples of Congressional filth. I would have no problem with adding that pathetic, deliberately ineffectual wimp Harry Reid, and most of the others who pollute the halls of Congress either, but with the price of wooden barrels these days...
The only thing that could possibly have a chance of waking up these politician lowlifes and overcome the amount of bribes they take in from K Street would be 10-MILLION citizens arriving in Washington, very loudly, with the torches that Anonymous suggests, and pitchforks, too! The only things that moved our Senawhores in the 60s were massive and I mean MASSIVE demonstrations. Congressional vermin will only act when they feel that they might get bounced off the cash and perk gravy train. History has shown that time and time again.

At 11:37 PM, Anonymous Sean said...

I have always wondered why we give our representatives government provided health insurance if they really think that the private insurance market is so great.


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