Friday, May 25, 2007

DWT readers have a right to know: So who the darned heck made up The [friggin'] List anyways?


Was it Idiot Al? Was it Monica? They say, "Nuh-uh!"

Now that we know--from the testimony of such straight shooters as Attorney General Idiot Al "The Torture Guy" Gonzales; his former chief of staff, D. Kyle Sampson; former Deputy AG Paul McNulty; and former Department of Justice White House Liaison Monica M. Goodling--that none of them had anything to do with The List, and also nobody in the White House (even though none of the DoJ people, including the White House liaison, seems to recall ever having had any contact with anybody in the White House; don't you think these people need to get out and socialize more?), you would think that that would be the end of the discussion.

And yet some people insist on pressing that pesky question:

So where'd the friggin' list come from anyways? It hadda come from someplace.

Here at DWT, the Public Research Group has narrowed the list of suspects down to the following:

(a) former President Bill Clinton
(b) New York State's junior U.S. senator, Hillary Clinton
(c) former New York State Gov. DeWitt Clinton*
(d) former Director of Central Intelligence George Tenet
(e) former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover
(f) former FBI Associate Director W. Mark Felt
(g) former Ambassador Joe Wilson
(h) former CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson
(i) the Wilsons' twins, Trevor and Samantha
(j) Ambassador Wilson's older twins (with his first wife, Susan), Sabrina and Joseph
(k) Third Reich entrepreneur Oskar Schindler
(l) North Pole philanthropist Santa Claus
(m) former vice presidential buttboy Irving "Lewis" Libby
(n) former Secretary of State Henry A. Kissinger
(o) former President Richard M. Nixon
(p) Nixon aides John Ehrlichman and/or H. R. "Bob" Haldeman
(q) Nixon secretary Rosemary Woods

- - - - - - - - - -
You know, the guy who built the Erie Canal--well, no, not with his own personal hands--and thereby opened up the West, or at any rate Buffalo, and thus gave Americans access to the spicy chicken wings.

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At 8:27 AM, Blogger Dana said...

There are other suspects.

1. Grandmaster of Funk George Clinton.
2. Former first brother Roger Clinton.
3. Maybe it was Chelsea Clinton
4. Possibly singer-songwriter Larry Clinton? get the idea


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