Wednesday, July 27, 2005



I don't know much about the Newark Star-Ledger, only that I have a house in PA and whenever I ask the agent who's trying to sell it for me to advertise in the NY Times or Wall Street Journal, she always insists on the Star-Ledger. It's been 3 years and the house is still unsold and she's still talking about the Star-Ledger. We're about to get an eviction order for the current tenants--who haven't paid any rent in 3 months or so (after paying past rent with forged checks and counterfeit hundred dollar bills!) so, I figured, maybe I should check out the Newark Star-Ledger myself. I looked online and the first thing I found was a series of columns by some whacked out, drooling fascist named Paul Mulshine. I had never heard of this raving loon before but, wow!, I loved what he was writing. I mean this loon is so far right that he hates Bush. He hates Limbaugh. He hates Hannity! I don't know if he runs around the house in sheets and pillowcases or if he has photos of Adolph over the mantelpiece, but this is definitely the less-friendly side-- the non-bland, non-John Roberts side-- of the extreme right.

Last week Mulshine was almost as pissed off at the Bushes as real Americans are. "As anyone who reads this column knows, I have never been a fan of the Bush family," he started, earning my interest. "The father was a bumbler who came into office in the afterglow of Ronald Reagan and was gone the moment the glow faded. The sons, meanwhile, are blatant panderers who will do anything to get and hold power." I mean this guy sounds right on, right? Um... keep reading. "If veering to the right on abortion will get them the pro-life vote, they dutifully veer to the right. If veering to the left on immigration will get them the Hispanic vote, then it's open borders and amnesty for all." All OK, so far, but then the giveaway: "You may argue that many Democrats are worse. True, but I'm not a Democrat. I'm a loyal Republican voter, except on those rare occasions when I'll pull the Libertarian lever for laughs. And as a Republican, what bothers me about the Bushes is their penchant for creating the impression that the very lowest sorts of people represent the essence of the Grand Old Party."

OK, so he admits two things: being a Republican and an inability to realize something that is as plain to most people these days as anything can be: that the Bushes penchant for creating the impression that the very lowest sorts of people represent the essence of the Grand Old Party is EXACTLY accurate. Look at Rove; look at Frist; look at Cheney; look at DeLay; look at very single GOP leader in the state of Ohio!; look at Cunningham, Taylor, Pombo, Lewis... look up and down that side the aisle in either House and you'll see that George, Jeb, the bankrobber brother, the mother, the father, they've all created a completely accurate impression-- in Moonshine's own words "THE LOWEST SORTS OF PEOPLE REPRESENT THE ESSENCE OF THE GRAND OLD PARTY." Oh, and it gets better. This week the lunatic attacked viciously right-wing beasts Limbaugh and Hannity on behalf on an even more vicious right-wing beast, Michael Savage. In a July 21 column called "The Savage Nation vs. the Bushbots
Thursday," he lays it all out, claiming Bush's right flank is weak and that is where he is best attacked.
"Savage is the most right- wing of the right-wing talkers on the national airwaves at the moment." Now THAT is saying a lot if you've ever surveyed the competition! But Moonshine calls him a "welcome change from those Karl Rove clones Hush Bimbo and Sean Vanity. 'Hush Bimbo' and 'Sean Vanity' are the names Savage has pinned on Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity of WABC. In doing so, he has sparked a war between the members of his 'Savage Nation' (slogan: 'Borders, language, culture') and the so-called 'Bushbots,' that sizable number of gullible Americans who can be convinced that whatever policy Bush adopts is a conservative policy."

Moonshine may be a freak, but it's cool he's getting out the message that Bush is the worst U.S. leader in history. He and Savage claim Bush isn't even a conservative (spends too much, lets government expand too much, incompetent warrior on terror... Savage, of course, wants an all out Crusade against the world's billion Muslims and claims even the French are better than Bush.) "Instead of reducing the reach of Islamic fundamentalism, Bush has managed in Iraq to get 1,700 Americans killed in a war that will create yet another Islamic republic. Just yesterday we learned that the new constitution in Iraq will incorporate sharia, Islamic law. That's why we right-wing commentators believe the Iraq war has been the biggest blunder in America military history. As for Bimbo and Vanity, if I may employ Savage's labels, they are simply too uneducated to realize that the Iraq war represents a failed liberal exercise in nation-building." LIBERAL? I know it would be coming sooner or later. Savage, though, doesn't elaborate how the neo-conservative agenda is part of a liberal exercise. Instead he goes on to talk about what utter asses Limbaugh and Hannity are.
"There is no college in Rush. There is no college in Hannity. He's a high school dropout. It's like listening to an uneducated, unthinking man on the radio." True, true, but on the other hand Savage is educated, even got a Ph.D before he went mad, and he sounds even more pathetic than the other 2 loons (if there's a measurable degree of pathetic this far down the scale).

Meanwhile Moonshine goes on to defend his hero, crying that the far right-wing (as opposed to the far far right-wing) websites "call Savage a bigot and a racist, two terms the employment of which generally indicate that the speaker is losing an argument" (although in this case they are 100% accurate). He claims that attacks on Limbaugh, Hannity and Bush are a "good barometer of the nation's mood. And the nation is slowly figuring out that the Bush-neoconservative-Troskyite-internationalist view of foreign affairs has not worked out so swimmingly for the good old U.S. of A. "'Bush is melting down our borders and making us into a polyglot nation in which no one speaks the language,' says Savage." Savage claims that all the other right-wing talk show hosts "may as well work for the Republican Party. There's nothing interesting if you can predict what a man's going to say by just going to the GOP Web site." And Moonshine backs him up: "He's certainly got that right. Listening to an endless rehash of Karl Rove's talking points, leavened by a few Teddy Kennedy- is-a-drunk jokes, is not very entertaining." He then goes on to conclude that "when you attack the Bush- Rove spin from the right, however, you realize that the neocons' grand social experiment has been tried most visibly in Iraq and has failed most visibly there. People are starting to notice. Eventually even the Bushbots may get a clue.

I think I'll keep running the ad in the Star-Ledger. It's as good as the Sunday comics!


Post a Comment

<< Home