Last Minute Gift Ideas To Give That Republican Who Lessens Your Quality Of Life

by Noah

A couple of weeks ago, I already posted 2 lists of possible gifts you can use to send a message to any Republicans you have the misfortune to know this year but, in the interest of wait there’s more… well, there’s more, and, certainly the times require a message to be sent!

So, here we go, list number 3!

1. What could be better than a Voltage Tester? It’s only $19.95. It doesn’t come with instructions but the how to use part is pretty damn obvious even for some idiot that goes around in a MAGA hat. Just tell your Republican relative or acquaintance to be sure to stand barefooted in a stainless steel pan full of water when they try it on and plug it in!

2. Along the same lines comes this nifty key cleaner. I wish they’d advertise these on FOX “News.” We know how Republicans like things to be extra clean and shiny! It does a great job cleaning knives and forks, too! Here ya go, sparky!

3. Does your Republican “friend” like the beach? Give them a pair of the above flip-flops in honor of their idol Lindsey Graham! Just don’t tell them about the “Deep State” message they’ll be leaving behind. Available through esty and probably amazon like everything else. Ditto the next 4.

4. Does your Republican like to travel to foreign lands? Probably not, unless it’s Russia but how ‘bout a T-shirt that says “Sorry about our president” in multiple languages?

5. My wife and I have had 4 cats over the last many years and, believe me, we’ve seen what a cat can do with a catnip toy! If you know a republican who has a cat, why not go over to their house this holiday season, act all friendly like and toss one of these to their cat. Watch the fun begin as the cat has fun and your Republican does a slow boil! Here ya go kitty. Tear him to shreds!!! For extra fun, take a bag of loose catnip along and rub it on the freak’s MAGA hats and Trump T-shirts.

6. A Putin 2020 button! Perfect for the coming year! How thoughtful of you!

7. And lastly, the Punch-a-Trump! How about one for yourself? You’ve earned it! I have one in every room of the house! You can even use the packaging on your dartboard.