Doesn't Carlos Danger need a better name than "Rockaway Restoration Kitchen" for his entry into the restaurant world?

Does it get any more macho? Well, it might if Anthony W didn't look like he just found out he inadvertently sent a penis picture to the pope. Meanwhile, Mikey S looks like he just threatened to throw the pope off his balcony.

"To be frank, Weiner would not be the first scandal-ridden New York pol to have tried his hand at the restaurant business. Rep. Michael Grimm (R-N.Y.) of 'break you in half like a boy' fame, once ran a failed health food restaurant in Manhattan."

"Maybe they can trade notes?"

-- from Colby Itkowitz's Thursday Washington Post "In
the Loop"report, "New Weiner career? Food service"

by Ken

Yes, Colby, that was the first thing I thought of when I saw your Thursday report about former Rep. Anthony Weiner, aka Carlos Danger (or perhaps better, as inspired tweeter Ana Navarro suggested, Antonio Estupido), finding his way into the restaurant business. How could you not think of him as following in the footsteps of our favorite congressional kneecapper, Staten Island's "Mikey Suits" Grimm?

Judging from the results, it wouldn't be quite accurate to say that Mikey Suits went into the restaurant business, since his joint -- Palooka's Healthy Food Shangri-La, or whatever it was called during the blink of an eye it was open -- seemed to be more of a crime scene for financial chicanery than a money-making hospitality enterprise, and of course the scene of elaborate ongoing criminal investigations. (Okay, I looked it up. Mikey S's eatery was called Healthalicious. The palookas were on the premises -- though not apparently in any great quantity -- not in the name. See my April post "No fair! We the people demand perp-walk pix of 'Mikey Suits' Grimm! (And where's Rudy Giuliani when you need him?") And in fairness to Anthony W, what he apparently has in mind is something quite different from a hangout for palookas with pretensions.

But still, do all these congressfellows have an inner Bobby Flay trying to get out? Or is it just these queasily hyper-macho boys -- Anthony W with his compulsion to share his penis with the world and Mikey S with his craving to toss uppity reporters off of balconies.

That said, Anthony W's project really does sound like a noble effort to make a difference in the Sandy-devastated Rockaways of Queens. But as Al Kamen suggests in his follow-up "In the Loop" report, "Rockaway Restoration Kitchen" sounds almost criminally humdrum for an enterprise spearheaded by the Man Who Would Be Carlos Danger.

Let's let Al take it from here.

In the Loop
A Loop contest! Weiner’s planned
restaurant needs a better name

By Al Kamen
August 11 at 7:00 AM

It was but a year ago that disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner lost his New York mayoral bid, undone by his annoying penchant for sexting self-portraits to a number of women –even after he resigned his congressional seat a year earlier for that same deplorable habit.

But as we reported Thursday afternoon, citing a report in The Rockaway Times, Weiner has a new, and really quite commendable, project: establishing the “Rockaway Restoration Kitchen,” which is described in an Idealist.org ad as a non-profit “healthy, sustainable restaurant in a hard luck community to provide training, on-the-job apprenticeship and placement in the culinary and food service sector for unemployed New Yorkers.”

A wonderful idea. But the name? Rockaway Restoration Kitchen? This will not draw customers. You can’t even tell what kind of food it will serve.

There has to be a better name! (Loop fans know where this is going.)

Yes, it’s the “Name the Weiner Restaurant” Contest! It needs to be catchy, able to attract customers. Perhaps a particular cuisine? (Remember, he allegedly used that spectacular alias, Carlos Danger, so maybe south-of-the-border fare might work.)

Winners get one of our highly coveted Loop T-shirts.

Send entries — only one suggestion per person — to intheloop@washpost.com. Be sure to provide your name, profession, mailing address and T-shirt size (M, L or XL), in case you’re a winner.

You must include a phone number — home, work or cell — to be eligible. Entries must be submitted by noon, Aug. 18.

(Please keep your entries, at the very most, PG-13).

Note that last point -- there's territory into which we just can't venture here. Still, "PG-13" affords a certain latitude, doesn't it? I think we might slip "Carlos Danger's Penis Palace" through, for example. Just remember, the key is to come up with a name that's even more grabalicious than, you know, Healthalicious (RIP).

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