Courtesy of Bob Mankoff we have a cartoonists' guide through the delicate subjects of proper eating habits and weight control

"Is everything O.K., sir? We noticed
that you aren't constantly eating."

This delicious offering from Christopher Weyant comes from the slide show assembled by New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff for his latest blogpost, "Three Amazing Cartoon Diets You Won't Believe!"

by Ken

As noted in the caption above, the title of Bob Mankoff's blogpost this week is "Three Amazing Cartoon Diets You Won't Believe!" And while Bob does eventually get to the promised cartoon diets, I'm afraid you'll have to check those out for yourself -- we're not going to get to that. In fact, as Bob sets up his premise, he litters it with cartoon illustrations that you'll mostly also have to check out for yourself. I've allowed myself one two three exceptions:

Obesity, as the media informs us daily, if not hourly, is no laughing matter. The truth is, humor is not kind to any deviation from body norms . . .



. . . or one's mind. Whether you are fat or skinny, dumb or too smart for your own good, you are grist for the cartoon mill.

"I just figured out why we've
never had girlfriends."

Now, when it comes to “people of size,” I’ve been there and done that cartoon:

"Get off me, lard-ass!"

[Cartoons by Alex Gregory (more from Alex in a moment),
Matthew Diffee, and of course cartoon-master Mankoff -- Ed.]

AT THIS POINT, BOB IS JUST ABOUT TO
GET TO THE THREE CARTOON DIETS . . .

. . . which are, by the way, The Reverse-Meal Diet, The Tiny-Utensils Diet, and The Zeno's-Paradox Diet. But as I mentioned, we don't have time for that. You can make it an independent-study project. We're going to skip ahead to this disclaimer and announcement:

One final word: before embarking on any of these diets, it might be advisable to consult a physician or a psychiatrist.

While you’re awaiting that consultation, here’s a big helping of diet-related cartoons. Enjoy! In moderation, of course.

AND THIS IS WHERE WE'VE BEEN HEADING --
TOWARD ONE OF BOB'S BEST-EVER SLIDE SHOWS

In fact, the chosen cartoons are all so good that I hate to omit any of them. But life is a series of choices, and here are mine, starting with a pair by William Haefeli and P. C. Vey which invoke The Wisdom of Expert Authority Through the Ages. (I confess that the Haefeli zinger, despite its perfectly clear sense, took an extra couple of beats to register fully for me, but when it did -- ooh, that poor guy!)

"I really shouldn't have any dessert. My trainer
told me never to eat out of boredom."

"My doctor says you should be drawing
more fruits and vegetables."

There are two characteristically species-muddling contributions (no puppies, though!) from our much-loved late comrade-in-cartoons, the great Charles Barsotti:

"I start every diet with the best intentions, but it
goes to hell as soon as I sense blood in the water."

"Eat lots of carrots."

I think it's clear why Alex Gregory, who needed no caption at all -- just a map legend -- for the cartoon of his we saw above, was allowed an unusually long caption for this one:

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons,
then it became a moral choice, and now
it's just to annoy people."

Whereas this inspiration from David Sipress also needs no caption:

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