If Grim "Mikey Suits" can't pop into his local FBI office, how will he pick up new crime tips?

by Ken

No, he hasn't actually made the FBI's Most Wanted List -- yet -- but apparently NY Congressman "Mikey Suits" Grimm, who of course represents Staten Island and a chunk of Brooklyln, has succeeded in making the Bureau's persona non grata list. As DNAinfo New York's Murray Weiss reported, in "FBI Bars Congressman Michael Grimm":

STATEN ISLAND -- Rep. Michael Grimm, who quit as an FBI agent eight years ago, was barred from returning to its New York field offices -- even after he was elected to Congress, DNAinfo New York has learned.

Federal security personnel at the FBI's headquarters in Lower Manhattan and a satellite office in Kew Gardens, Queens, posted Grimm's photo inside their glass-enclosed stations in the event he showed up, sources said.

They were under orders to stop him and to immediately notify higher authorities on what further action to take, according to the sources.

"He is not permitted in our space," one source told "On The Inside."

"He is not welcome," a former top FBI official said.

Note that this is not, as one might think, a response to the congressman's recent 20-count federal indictment, the indictment that, as Weiss summarizes it, "accused him of hiding $1 million in revenue at Healthalicious, an Upper East Side restaurant that he owned, as well as cheating on taxes," and that left our Mikey looking so grim.

Sources said Grimm's FBI identification picture was posted shortly after he resigned from the bureau in 2006 and it now hangs with about two dozen other ex-agents and federal employees.

"They are all employees who were fired, or they were under circumstances where they were forced out or felt they should leave, and all are no longer welcome back," the former FBI official explained.

Balderdash, says a Grim Mikey spokesman.

Grimm's spokesman said the congressman was unaware that his photo was posted at FBI security checkpoints and he had no idea why it should be.

Grimm insists that he left the bureau on good terms because he wanted to get married and start a family. That relationship eventually fell apart.

"False rumors and malicious lies relating to the congressman's tenure in the FBI have been reported on since 2010 and have been repeatedly refuted," the spokesman said.

"Fortunately, the congressman has more than three years of a tremendous track record delivering real, tangible results for the people he represents -- they are proud of him and he is proud to represent them."

The spokesman also provided a letter on FBI stationery dated Feb. 16, 2012, that states Grimm "resigned his post in good standing with the FBI."

That letter certainly sounds official. And while I'm sure it's just protocol -- you know, the way these things are done, "An FBI spokesman declined comment." Hardly needed, given that 2012 letter on FBI stationery.

Sources said Grimm, 44, was under internal scrutiny before he quit over allegations that he told a woman he met during a probe that he worked undercover -- a violation of FBI protocol.

The FBI's Office of Professional Responsibility was also questioning so-called "voucher" expenses he submitted in connection with his undercover roles.

The sources believe the pressure of the inquiry played a role in his decision to exit the FBI -- an agency he often professed to love, his colleagues noted -- without getting a pension because he didn't serve 20 years.

Whatever the reason he left the bureau, FBI officials placed him on their "not welcome" list.

"Some of us thought it was kind of a joke after he was elected to Congress that his picture stayed up," the former FBI official said.

Hey, that's actually a pretty good joke, having a U.S. congressman among those FBI wall-of-shame photos! Good one!

The congressman, you'll recall, is currently engaged in his hell-hath-no-fury crusade for Total Exoneration. Meanwhile, as Weiss reports, "The federal investigation that uncovered the alleged  Healthalicious criminal activity is continuing, officials said." And that still doesn't include the investigation into Grim Mikey's alleged carnival of campaign-finance shenanigans.

Personally, I'd really like to hear more about that $250K that's supposed to have changed hands between the campaign and "Israel's sixth-richest rabbi." Naturally I'd like to know more about what service or services were rendered. But I'd also like to know more about how Grim Mikey's people glommed onto the sixth-richest rabbi. Did they think it might be too showy to get in bed with No. 1. Or did they perhaps think, as NFL teams are often said to, that the cost of doing business with No. 1 would be way higher than he's worth and that better value can be obtained by trading down to, say, No. 6?


MEANWHILE, THERE'S GOOD NEWS FOR MIKEY

I spent some time this week in the company of a hard core of hard-boiled political types, who were in solid agreement that Grim Mikey is a shoo-in for reelection come November. That is, naturally, assuming that he isn't caught in flagrante, in bra and panties or a Catholic schoolgirl's outfit, with a manly teenboy top.

It may also provide Mikey some consolation to know that he has vaulted to the top of the charts as the reigning heartthrob of the sweatier-fisted elements of the gay netherworld, where he is known by a colorful assortment of macho noms d'orgie among which the most polite is Hunka Hunka Mikey. Said gents appear unfazed by the likelihood that dreamt-of canoodling with Hunka Hunka would be followed by a vow of silence enforced by threat of being broken in half, like a boy, or being thrown off the nearest balcony.

#