TV Watch: Finally I understand why ABC hasn't been able to find a show to go with "The Middle," "Suburgatory," and "Modern Family"

Polly (Sarah Chalke, mercifully back to camera), stepdad Max (Brad Garrett), and mom Elaine (Elizabeth Perkins) in ABC's latest hit, How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life). In case you hadn't heard, Max only has one ball. You can see a "Just the Jokes" clip here.

by Ken

The things I do in the name of blogorific responsibility!

As we all know, ABC has -- for a change -- a hole in its Wednesday-night comedy lineup. Amazingly, the hole doesn't seem to have been plugged by this fall's The Neighbors, which I've seen described (and not pejoratively!) as a "suburban alien comedy." Somehow you could tell that The Neighbors wasn't going to be Third Rock from the Sun, which showed that you could actually have an "alien comedy" that was smart and funny.

So this week ABC was promoting a newcomer to the Wednesday lineup, a surefire hit called How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your LIfe)?" Well, okay, you think, shows with even hideouser titles have not totally sucked. No, I can't think of one offhand, but my memory isn't what it used to be.

Wait, two seasons ago CBS offered us $#*! My Dad Says, a breakthrough of sorts: a show whose name literally couldn't be pronounced. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't good. More recently ABC itself offered us the resplendent Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23, which I've seen a supposedly respectable critic defend as some sort of breakthrough, though to me it seemed peopled with stunningly repellent characters I hoped would all become victims of the slasher who would be introduced in a mid-episode genre switcheroo.

It's hard to believe, but somehow I forgot to record HTLWYP (FTROYL). I actually checked ABC's "On Demand" listings, and it hasn't turned up there, at least as of yet. So I cooked up this idea of writing a post called something like "Say, did anybody watch that How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your LIfe)?"

But no, it occurred to me that I might be able to watch it online, and alas, I did. (You can too, here.) Now, it has to be possible to do a show about an adult child moving back in with his/her parents, which is certainly a theme for our times. And no, I don't mean the assaultively hideous (and now mercifully canceled) Enlightened, which at least does make it clear what a horror it is in this case for the afflicted mom, suddenly re-saddled with her monstrous self-absorbed leech of a brain-dead offspring (played, in somebody's idea of a joke, by actual mom-and-daughter Diane Ladd and Laura Dern). I've actually seen an admiring critic -- come to think of it, I believe it was the same critic who thought Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 was something special who I've seen claim that Amy, the Laura Dern character, is "idealistic" and "pure." Say, is there drug testing for TV critics?

Even in the promos for HTLWYP (FTROYL), it was surprising to see so many familiar faces, or maybe I should say "recycled" faces. The tail-between-her-legs daughter-mom is Sarah Chalke, and while I am one of the few people who didn't think she absolutely sucked as "the other Becky" when Lecy Goranson took her college leave from Roseanne, and I watched Scrubs occasionally and would concede that she was by no means the most obnoxious feature of the show (with Zach Braff leading the obnoxiousness charge every week, how could she hope to be?), I cringed my way through an episode of this.

Like when her twerpy boss at the upscale food store where she's gotten work in the six months since she moved in with the 'rents turns out to be trying to get her attention to call that attention to the cute guy in the store, and she actually collars him for a date, is there anyone who doesn't know that it's going to be a disaster? At the same time, is there anyone who cares which species of TV disaster date it's going to be? For the record, he gets falling-down drunk, and forces Polly to draw on the services of her still-hanging-around ex-husband, the goofily Peter Pannish Julian (Jon Dore), who I think is supposed to be charming. You can decide that one for yourself.

Then there are Elizabeth Perkins and Brad Garrett as Polly's mom and stepdad, Elaine and Max. Elaine may in fact be a breakthrough sitcom character: a mom who's a rummy and a slut. The only thing you need to know about Max is that he has a stud or something in one ear, and he has only one ball.

I noticed online that one writer detects some influence from Arrested Development. See note above about drug testing for TV critics.

You may be thinking, it doesn't sound all that awful. Actually, I'm not making it sound as awful as I found it -- the details are just too preposterous, and nauseating.

But watching it did make me focus on, and I think finally understand, the problem ABC is having trying to plug the holes on Wednesday night. It all goes back to the fall of 2009, when The Middle and Modern Family were introduced as part of the network's newly created Wednesday comedy night. That's two genuinely first-rate shows -- one of them in fact looking like it's going to be one of the historic TV comedy triumphs -- introduced on the same night in the same season. How often does that happen?

But what I suddenly found myself thinking was: Nobody at ABC knows (a) how those shows got on its schedule or (b) why they were successful. Certainly neither has anything in common with anything else that ABC has offered in modern times as comedy. So how then would you intentionally introduce two more shows to fill out the two-hour block? Looked at this way, it's something of a miracle that the network last season came up with Suburgatory, which looked like it was just going to be endless cheap shots at boring suburbia (which I'm assuming is what the ABC execs thought it would be) as divorced father and blossoming teenage daughter George and Tessa Altman (Jeremy Sisto and the radiant Jane Levy) move from hip New York City to stultifying whatever-the-name-of-the-town-is. However, the writers have made it something quite different from that, involving basic issues of parenting and growing up, of fitting in and not, of insider vs. outsider status, of hopes and especially disappointments.

Again, it's about as far from an "ABC comedy" as one could imagine. And that, I think, is the ABC programming department's Wednesday-night problem: having to think as if they're not ABC programmers.

I think, by the way, that's how they came up with Happy Endings, which I see has just returned to the schedule. Weh's mir. As I recall, the same critic who thinks Enlightened's Amy is pure and idealistic thinks Happy Endings is something special. To me, it's Friends with a set of characters who might have been interesting and appealing but were instead made, by virtue of arrogance, abjectness, or just plain obnoxiousness, generally revolting. I really tried with this bunch, but in the end all I could think of was hoping that that slasher found his way onto this show too.

Meanwhile, this week Modern Family had a simply spectacular outing, and made what must be incredibly difficult look effortless. Pride of place went to the Dunphy household, with Claire (the astounding Julie Bowen, doing one of the tube's stellar characterizations)


OMG, IT'S THE RETURN (FINALLY) OF MAD MEN!

Two hours' worth on AMC tomorrow night. And next Sunday it's the season premiere of Showtime's Nurse Jackie, with the final season of The Big C launching Monday the 29th. Thank you, TV gods!

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