Tips for debate non-watchers -- and for watchers too

[From Gay.net; see below. (Click to enlarge.)]

by Ken

I won't say you couldn't pay me to watch the debate -- at least not until I've heard the offers. So I'll just say it seems unlikely anyone will come up with the right number, so personally I expect to be following my traditional political-debate strategy of staying the heck away and trusting in the days to come, however much I might wish otherwise, the parts I need to see will become inescapabl.

For goodness' sake, there's an AL East title to be decided tonight, and I assume various other MLB business to be determined. Actually, I'm not sure I'll be watching the Yankees-Red Sox game either (not to mention the Orioles-Rays game, which I see is supposed to be coming to us on ESPN2). These days I find myself more dreading the Yankees losing than thrilling to the competition of seeing them possibly winning.


SO WHAT'S ON TONIGHT?

I took the trouble of scanning my cable listings for the 9-11pm time block tonight, and came up with a sampling of what's on. Bear in mind that this information isn't necessarily good for any source but my cable system (in the Eastern time zone), and even then it's subject to, er, surprise.

* Right off the bat I see QVC has a second hour of In the Kitchen with David at 9, and Electronics Today at 10. Honor God and America (in whichever order -- I leave that to you) by shopping till you drop.

* SoapNet has General Hospital at 9, The Young and the Restless at 10.

* The Golf Channel's On the Range at 9 will focus on the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospital for Children Open, with coverage following at 10. Fore!

* Bravo is repeating last week's Top Chef Masters finale at 9 and offering Life After Top Chef, catching up on some of the previous contestants) at 10 -- that's one I'm actually looking forward to. I better make sure the DVR is set.

* E will have a second hour of Keeping Up with the Kardashians at 9, and something-or-other following it. Really, though, how do you follow the Kardashians?

* Hallmark Channel has Little House on the Prairie at 9 and a pair of Fraziers at 10. And TVLand counters with a pair of Everybody Loves Raymonds at 9 and a pair of something called The Soul Man at 10. (The Soul Man? I seem to have missed that one.)

* For obsessives and obsession enthusiasts, TLC has a new Cracking Addiction at 9 and Addicted (not listed as being new) at 10.

* Food Network has a new Restaurant: Impossible at 9 and the thrill-packed Restaurant Stakeout (not marked as new, but haven't they been promoting a new season upcoming?) at 10.

* Full evenings are in store of: NCIS from USA, Family Feud from Game Show Network, and AbFab from Logo (with, I presume, the usual more or less 1:1 ratio of commercials to program).

* Showtime will be offering this week's edition of Inside the NFL on the main channel at 9 and then again on Showtime Extreme at 10. (Um, Inside the NFL is "extreme"?)

* For do-it-yourselfers (and DIY-watchers), DIY has paired episodes of Professional Grade at 9 and Sweat Equity at 10. Have a pad and pencil to make your shopping list.

* National Geographic Channel is stacking up four back-to-back episodes of Abandoned, starting with a new one, "Scranton Lace Factory," followed by "Pabst Blue Ribbon Factory," "Hot Springs Hotel," and "Vermont Marble Factory." This actually sounds interesting, all this abandoned stuff. And for the benefit of you debate-watchers, the whole block is repeated at 11.

* TBS has a second hour of Family Guy reruns at 9 and a pair of Big Bang Theorys at 10.

* HBO will be finishing up Rise of the Planet of the Apes at 9, then repeating this week's Boardwalk Empire at 10.

* Meanwhile on its other channels HBO will be starting a couple of movies at 9: The Debt, Conviction, and The Change-Up. But if it's a movie you're looking for, and if you get Starz (I don't), its classic channel is showing All the King's Men. Not because it's themed to election season (I'm not sure it has that much resonance in the era of the 1% oligarchists and the Teabaggers), but because it's a good movie. UPDATE: Oops! I looked again and see that it's the 2006 remake Starz is showing. Never mind.

* Minute for minute, maybe the evening's best entertainment comes from Me-TV (more formally known as Memorable Entertainment Television), which follows an episode of Remington Steele at 8 with episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Cheers, and The Bob Newhart Show (the one where Bob discovers that Jerry has joined a therapy group -- with a different therapist, and without mentioning it to Bob).


IF YOU'RE WATCHING THE DEBATE, DON'T FORGET
"2012 PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE BINGO" FROM GAY.NET

I realize that this is likely to come to you too late to be used in real time, but hey, consider what you're paying for this service. Onsite, Daniel Villarreal explains:

To ensure your complete debate enjoyment—no matter how exciting or sleep-inducing—we've whipped up a bingo card for you and your political party animals. Just watch for key moments, like any mention of the Arab Spring or Romney beginning to sweat, and thenmark it off your card.

The first watcher to mark five items in a row wins! The cards also make great coasters, conversational icebreakers and an easy way to seem politically savvy, even if you have no idea what any of the squares actually mean.

GO, YANKS!

OK, so for various reasons I wrote the above earlier today. When I finally got home, and got up the courage to flip on the Yanks-Sox game, the Yanks were up 5-1 in the 4th inning. In the 5th A-Rod hit his first extra-base hit in living memory and then Robbie Cano, who had that long offensive blah stretch but lately has been on fire, hit a home run -- his second of the game, it turns out -- to push it to 7-1. Whew! Not that it matters assuming the Yanks win, but I switched over to ESPN2 and after 10 or 20 minutes' worth of commercials discovered that the Orioles are losing to the Rays 3-0 in the 6th. Yes!

(I understand that the Yanks and O's are both going to the playoffs, but this year it makes a difference if you go in as a wild card.)

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